His Face, Metaphorically Speaking

When young, I couldn't look closely at his face

for fear of him seeing me as I truly was.

When older, I couldn't look closely at his face

for fear of his seeing my wrinkles and my aging.

During Alzheimer's, I couldn't look closely at his face

for fear of his seeing my sorrow.

When he died, I couldn't look closely at his face

for my emotions of never seeing it again.

Now, I look closely at his face whenever I can,

when he comes to me in my dreams.