Finding Enlightenment

First, know that ENLIGHTENMENT is not something to achieve.
It is already there, living inside you, waiting to be discovered!
All you need to do is learn how to quiet the voices, past and present
that cause you to judge, to criticize, to evaluate ... others and yourself.

An actualized adult looks at beliefs and TRIAGES what they believe.
Some beliefs no longer are true for you, get rid of them, and forget them.
Some beliefs are still important to you, keep them and hold them with love.
Some beliefs you are not sure of, hold on to them, no pressure to decide.

It feels great to know that certain beliefs no longer are part of who you are.
But, careful, the triggers are still there and will bring back those beliefs.
Note those trigers, be aware of feelings, remind yourself of new choices.
Quiet yourself. Hear your own voices, not those of the past or of others.

Children believe what they are told by important people in our lives,
Parents, Grandparents, Priests, Teachers, Relatives, Neighbors, other adults.
Children we do not realize they have POWER, power to decide, to believe.
They accept what others tell us, by what we see, hear, read.

Other children: friends, and foes, also influence our beliefs and thoughts.
We like them and/or are bullied by them, we want to be liked by others.
We work to feel good, feel happy. We work to avoid feeling bad, unhappy.
Life is confusing; Children grow up without realizing they have power.

The purpose of childhood is to become INDEPENDENT of our parents.
To make our own life, our own decisions, our own happiness is our goal.
We also make our own misery, reinforcing our own poor self-image,
reinforcing our belief system which may or may not be still be true.

How do you QUIET yourself enough in today's busy, noisy world?
How do you take the constant barrage of contradictory pieces of information
and create an environment for at least a little piece of time in which you
can hear your own voices? Look at your own feelings and beliefs?

MEDITATE, is what you are told. What does that mean, how do I do that?
Meditation does not mean taking long periods of time out of your busy day.
It means taking a minute or two  and slowly building on how long.
If your goals are too ambitious you are setting yourself up for failure.

For a minute or two, maybe at the same time each day and same place,
concentrate on BREATHING. Breath in. It is good. Breath out. It is good.
Realize that everyone in the world is sharing this sacred moment with you.
As we all breath without much thinking we have a minute or two well spent!

Don't think you need to stop thinking! The mind is always thinking.
Focus on your breath, if your mind wanders, as it will, just make note
Bring it back to focus on your breathing. Don't linger on the thought.
Don't tell backstories just acknowledge it and refocus on your breathing.

Through meditation, you will find that slowly you will be able to relax.
You will be able to hear the voices deep within, the messages they bring,
not in the "mind wanderings" but in understandings that come after
the few minutes of meditation. Slowly build time, try to keep to the place.

You will find that EMOTIONS are not something to be controled,
but rather a barometer of your current life. Thank you emotions.
Sit quietly and ask what lessons your emotions have come to teach you.
Meditate and often the lessons will come automatically and easily.

Some lessons will not be easy. They will bring pain, discomfort, and tears.
Acknowlege them, you will feel better and be better at dealing with them.
Ask them to return later if you do not have time to spend with them, but do
invite them back. If you begin to solve them you will feel better about them!

Follow this advice, don't be hard on yourself, don't set high expectations.
Better low and met than high and punishing yourself. Meditate. Triage.
Say hello to your emotions and thank them. Ask what lessons they have.
Postpone if necessary but remember to invite them to return to visit later.

Enlightenment comes from deep within, it already exists within you.
Slow down, quiet down enough to listen, learn your lessons and to locate it!
You will be able to call up your new beliefs at will with more confidence.
The new thinking, the new understanding will serve you well.

The practice of catching a football during the middle of an important game,
with the ball coming at you, is not the best time to begin your practice.
Practice whenever and where ever you can. Practice often. Practice regularly.
Practice when under no pressure. Practice for a few moments a day.

You will find that when you have established a PRACTICE for yourself,
you will still drop the ball now and then but you will catch it more often
even when smack dab in the middle of the ongoing game called LIFE.
Your days will be filled with joy and love, self-confidence and growth!

High Expectations

This post was motivated by the comments from "Abraham" shown below.

I have always assumed that “everybody thinks like me.” As a teacher I assumed the same from my students and their parents. Often I was disappointed.

I think that family and friends are probably “closer” to thinking the same if only because family is so close and friends are chosen for that reason. 

But even then one grows differently than ones family and grows apart from one's friends.

I think that there is some benefit in this type of thinking. It evens the playing field. You are not better then anyone else and you are not worse then anyone! 

Then it turns out that if they are "worse" than you are it brings them up higher and if they are "better" you have room to learn and improve. Of course the terms "worse" and "better" are subject to definition and interpretation.

As I have aged I see that while for the most part my approach has been a good one, it can also cause confusion, frustration, missed or inappropriate expectations. 

So now I start with the high expectations for others which I hold for myself but temper them, hopefully non-judgementally if they fall short … or fall differently.

• • •

From Abraham

• It is very difficult to understand what anybody else's experience is. There aren't enough words to really understand what anybody else is living. Physical beings want things to be the same. They want people to think the same. You work rather hard at sameness, but you will never win that battle because, from Nonphysical, diversity is known to be the most beneficial part of the game.
• ---Abraham
• Excerpted from: Maui, HI on December 14, 1997 

Click to go to "Abraham" website

Good Enough

In a previous post you noticed that I have begun a new adventure: Michael Beads. I have been making crocheted seed bead rope necklaces for some time now. I had a gallery representing me in Union Pier Michigan but it closed several years ago. My "stock" of necklaces have been sitting on the shelf since. 

Across from our condo a new shop is opening called The Galleria of Evanston. Its main store is an artist collective in Andersonville with over 100 artists. This new store in Evanston will have over 40 artists and I am one of them.

The difference between my previous gallery and this collective is that at the collective the artist is responsible for designing and maintaining their own space. At the previous gallery all the work was done by the gallery owners. 

I have been working on space design, logo and signage, pricing, layout, etc. In some ways I have no idea what I am doing but also I am good at the above skills so have a certain level of confidence in myself.

When Friday came and it was time to install, I panicked. I was wide awake at 6 am, wondering what I got myself into: any talent? will anyone like or buy the necklaces? will I recoup my set up expenses? do I really want to add another thing to do to my already busy overwhelming schedule? will the space look good or amateurish? will none of the necklaces sell? will they all sell so I will have to be crazy making new necklaces? etc.

In an e-mail I mentioned this "panic" to a friend and she wrote back: "Oh, baby. It will turn out all okay. The booth will be good enough. Some necklaces will sell, if you know what the right price is. The Galleria people can help with both. You want it to be great. How about looking at it as a new adventure, and relax into the concept of 'good enough.'"

I answered her e-mail simply, "I don't know how to do good enough?" This caused me to have to ponder. I am far from a perfectionist. Check out behind the doors in my closet. I am of the school of belief that everything I do does not have to be my best. Some stuff will be OK if I just scrape by. When I was in school, often I was grateful and excited about earning a "C." Often I am just happy to "get it over with" and not worry about the quality.

But I guess when my ARTIST self takes over, the standards shoot through the sky to the heaven of impossibility. The end product really matters. In some way, I do not completely understand why or how, my art work represents who I am and it is very important to me to present myself to the world in the best possible way. 

My therapist said (and don't you hate people who quote their therapists but this one is a wise man) "There are four audiences with levels of acceptance and artist satisfaction."

BEST is if you love your work and your audience loves your work. You are home free. You love what you are doing and will get customers and praise and sales with your work.

GOOD is if you love your work but the audience doesn't love your work. At least you love what you are doing. Most likely your audience doesn't know how good you are or perhaps you have found the wrong audience and should look for another or perhaps you don't even need an audience, you have yourself. There are options.

BETTER is if you don't like your work and your audience doesn't like your work. This way you can just quit. Stop doing what you do, change what you do, improve what you do. The options are manageable. 

WORSE is if you don't like your work but your audience loves your work. You don't enjoy doing what you do but you have an audience who demands more and more. Their compliments and accolades are aggravating because you don't agree and feel they are pandering. 

If I am pleased with my work that is where "enough" comes in. Others may not like it but if I do, good enough. 

I am pleased with my necklaces but not the art of sales space design. So before the completion of my installation, and before the opening I am in the place where I am not so sure about the presentation or design of my booth. 

We will see what happens and I'll let you know.