Judaism

Yesterday I was honored to attend Friday night Shabbat Services in Lombard, Illinois. My cousin Linda invited me to join her family at the celebration for her husband, Bruce's conversion to Judaism. I visited with their children, my third and fourth cousins, whom I have never met before as adults as well as their young children.

Approximately two hundred people attended the service which not only celebrated Oneg Shabbat but also celebrated Bruce's conversion, the next day's Bat Mitzvah celebrant, and the Rabbi's sister and future brother-in-law who are getting married the next week in Florida.

The female Rabbi lovingly, as well as with humor, guided the congregation through the prayers; the Assistant Rabbi thoughtfully discussed this weeks Torah passage; the Cantor was accompanied by music performed on guitar, piano, and flute. 

The Torah (Jewish Book of Law) was respectfully, ceremoniously carried in parade around the synagog by the Rabbi, the Cantor, and the first time Jewish Bruce. People touched the Torah with their prayer book, or Tallis  (prayer shawl) or hand and then kissed the object which touched the Torah. The idea is that the Torah blesses you ... not that you bless it!

Through the evening, people stood, bowed, listened, or sang along. Various honors were given like opening the Torah Ark, blessing the Sabbath Candles, or reading part of the service. After the service, refreshments were provided by the bride's family and the necessary thick taste of "Mogen David Concord Grape Wine," was available.

This is the conversation I had with myself on the way home:

It was lovely to be part of a community who gathers in worship and friendship as a family of like thinking members. The music was familiar and the words, in Hebrew, drifted back easily ... although my singing took place in my head as the congregations singing vibrated through my ears into the core of my body.

Memories of celebrating Jewish Holidays at Temple with family, attending Hebrew School, studying for my own Bar Mitzvah and singing my Haftarah with my mom, dad, and sister in the audience as well as family, friends, and school mates.

The Prayer for the Dead, which never mentions death but only celebrates life; brought a few tears for my mom, dad, Gregory, and others who have moved on before me.

I was sorely aware that while this group of people embrace many of the ideals I also embrace, there was a difference. A personal experience with God, hearing "his word," the sense of community, and Peace of Mind which religion supposedly offers, has never been part of what I take away from the Jewish Experience.

I call myself a "Cultural Jew," meaning I love and need the tradition, the holidays, the food. But the organized religion aspects of being a Jew just don't seem to mean much to me. The chanting, the prayer repetition, going to Temple, hearing and believing the "story," traditions like fasting for certain holidays, etc just don't speak to me.

I do feel a level of regret that belonging to an active Jewish community is lacking in my life. I do feel that I may have caused my own missed opportunity. I know there are Jewish groups out there that accept homosexuality (the Rabbi of this Temple is a Lesbian, with partner and three children) but still I feel like I do not belong. 

In many ways, I do not want to "buy into" what it means generally to be Jewish. I like to make up my life as I go along. That is perhaps the cause of the regret as well as the joy of the confidence in being my own person? I may never know.

LGBTQ

I have grown up. Again! When I was a young man, I would look at a change in or new understanding about myself and say, “My, I was so naive! I will never let that happen again.” Ends up, my life, which is now in its 70’s, has been a series of “being naïve again!” Maybe that is not so bad as it shows I am continuing to grow and become.

My recent visit to San Francisco, Gay capital of the USA to attend the Frameline 40 Film Festival where I experienced my documentary ALZHEIMER’S: A Love Story screen in front of a warm, accepting audience of 1,300 gay and gay friendly people; viewing over 25 films (shorts and longs) dealing with gay issues, and meeting a wide variety of people; has brought a new sense to my homosexuality.

I have been Gay all my life. In looking back, the signs were there since my earliest memories. I "came out" at the age of 18, meaning had my first sexual experience, and began to understand why I was different than most other boys. I had known it for a long time but didn’t understand why.

I probably did not fully accept with confidence that I was Gay until I was 40 years old when I informed my mother that I no longer was going to lie to family and friends about my sexual preferences or my male lover. Everyone knew anyways but just weren't acknowledging it.

During the first fifty years of my life, the 1950's through the 2000's, society's attitudes towards Gay people, men and women, were quite different then they are today. Life for gays was closeted and characterized by the expression, "The love that dare not speak its name." Older role models did not exist. Most Gay activites and socialization was underground.

Things today, while not perfect, are amazingly different with same sex marriage legal at the national level, wider acceptance of homosexuality by more people, greater visibility of Gays in the political, entertainment, and sports worlds, and perhaps more understanding in religions arenas.

This scenario brings me to the discussion of some current realizations I have had as mentioned in the first paragraph.

Most of my younger life I liked other younger men and found older Gay men disgusting. Now I am an older gay man! I now understand that while age affects how beautiful a person's body might be, it does not affect the beauty of a person's soul. While I look pleasant enough, my physical beauty is gone, my sexual needs not as easily met as when I was in my twenty’s. A little late, now that I am in my 70’s, but I can accept this. I wish I had been a little more “generous” to older men when I was young.

As a young man; Drag Queens, Transsexuals, Transvestites, Leather Men, Butch and Lipstick Lesbians, and probably a few others were embarrassing to me. I wanted Gay men and women, including myself, to be well-behaved, normal, milk-toast, etc.

I thought that if only these extremely visible groups would calm down, gays like me in general would be accepted into society or at least go un-noticed. This was based on little or no knowledge of who the people in these groups were emotionally, physically, or belief system wise. I had few if any friends in these groups and knew little of who they really were. This belief was pretty common, I think, among many gay men of that time.

After Stonewall, during what is known as the Gay Liberation Era, there was a huge spit between Gay men and Gay woman who wanted to be known as "Lesbians" not "Gay Women." At the time I thought this was foolish. I understand this now and give the Lesbian community credit for being among the first groups (including the early suffragettes) to fight for equality for women in general. The battle continues.

Until then, and somewhat still now, men were the dominant sex; making most important decisions, holding most important roles in business, government, religion and making decisions about who and what women could be. During Gay Liberation, the Lesbian women said, "Hell no! We are in charge of ourselves and will make decisions about ourselves ... men will not be in charge of us and we do not want to be dumped into the group with them known as “Gay!”

My next awareness was that seemingly "outrageous" expressions of self by Drag Queens, Transgender People, Leather Men, and Butch Dykes turn out to be honest outward expressions of how these people see themselves, how they want to live their lives, and part of their fight for equal rights and protection under the law. I now understand and accept that. I now have a wider range of friends in my social groups.

Slowly society is becoming educated and more accepting of these groups. Just because I am not part of these groups does not and should not mean that they are wrong, or bad, ... or embarrassing. I have become more accepting myself in this area.

The initials GLBTQ reflect a long, successful journey! In the beginning it was "being Gay." Then it got to being Gay and Lesbian. Slowly Bi-Sexual was included. Over time T for Transgender was added and is becoming a lot more visible today.

Q seems to have two groups to identify. One is buying back the word QUEER but with confidence and self-love and remembering the resolution of the Rainbow Flag that we will never go back into the closet again.

The other is Questioning, which means that sometimes people, whether young or old, must figure out who they are, who they want to be, and how they want to express themselves and their sexuality. Being open to possibilities that enable one to question fixed societal beliefs is necessary. Some groups are playing around with "I" for Inquisitive to replace Questioning. GLBTQI

Some say that we should not have to categorize or label any of us, gay or straight, and that is the problem. Ellen DeGeneres, who usually avoids discussing political issues on her TV show, did talk about why we still needed to address marriage between two men or two women as “Gay Marriage.” We do not need to describe “Straight Marriage?”

In the beginning I had trouble referring to my life partner Gregory as “my husband.” Based on my early coming out, and societal norms of the day, if he was my “husband” that must mean I was the “wife!” And that was not true. With the passage of time, and laws, and common usage it feels OK to me to talk about two husbands, or two wives, two mommies or daddies. I have been able to leave the old thinking behind.

I believe that through flexible, open labeling we are able to gain a larger understanding of who we are and that we will all be better able to accept that "we are all one" deserving the respect and privileges of being human. Stereotyping no, but understanding our life through categorizing and labeling is how we make sense out of complicated issues.

The world is so torn by strife among ethnicities, races, religious beliefs, political affiliations, etc. Human rights including those of the GLBTQI community are part of this strife.

We all speak to the need to DO SOMETHING in a world that looks the other way when innocent black people are killed for little or no reason; when innocent police officers are ambushed; when innocent people are blown up to support other's political beliefs; when just to make a statement - theater audiences, college students, and children at school can be mowed down by assault weapons; when a Gay boy can be tied to a fence, tortured, and left to die; or when a woman or transgender woman can be raped and brutally beaten.

The Orlando massacre of 50 Gays and Lesbians and friends brought yet another and seemingly greater out roar about the need to stop the needless slaughter of people and the need for improved gun control and back checks.

It was billed as the worse mass murder in U.S. history and this was quickly followed by lists of hundreds of Native Americans who were killed by our government for fighting for their own beliefs and for freedom to continue their way of living which certainly pre-dates our own.

Society is slowly realizing that something must be done. But in a world that seems to have always contained violence and war, what will it take to change this and how long will it take? With each new occurrence we hope that this time something will be done but when?

Perhaps everyone needs to wave the RAINBOW flag to signify never again. Never again. Never again.

A Room Full of Grief

Praying in groups, what is that all about? This post will take a brief look at Judaism, Catholicism, Christianity, and Buddhism and think about group prayer.

It was the firm belief of the Jewish sages that wherever ten Israelites are assembled, either for worship or for the study of the Law, the Divine Presence dwells among them. In rabbinical literature, those who meet for study or prayer in smaller groups, even one who meditates or prays alone, are to be praised, however, the stress is put upon the merits and sacredness of the minyan of ten and the ten must be men or boys who are Bar Mitzvah, women and girls do not count.

In Catholicism, it is believed that His mighty workings increase exponentially and His purposes are accelerated when people pray together. This message is not given to minimize personal prayer, instead, it is to show that personal prayer alone will not result in the working of God to the degree needed for spiritual transformation in people's lives, churches, cities, and nation.

Group prayer among all Christians is important and rewarding, devoting themselves to the apostles’ teaching and to fellowship, to the breaking of bread and to prayer together.

Buddhist thoughts includes three gems: Buddha - the historical Buddha and one's own potential for awakening, Dharma - the teachings of the Buddha; the truth of the way things are, and Sangha - the community

The Sangha, or community, generally refers to the fourfold community of monks, nuns, men and women lay followers. Monks and nuns are respected for their good conduct and for their experience in meditation. They are also respected for their diligence, mindfulness and calmness. Wise and learned, they are able teachers of the Dharma. They can also be like trusted friends inspiring the lay followers along the path of Good Conduct.

Prayer itself can mean different things to different people. It can mean having reverence for a God, talking outloud or silently to oneself, having a personal experience with a God or having that experience through a priest or guru. It can be being grateful for what one has, begin grateful in advance for what one is asking for.

It can for some be bargaining, begging, and pleading for change or for better or for the fulfilling of a lack. It can mean getting quiet, calming the "voices in the mind," or distracting oneself.

This brings me to the topic of my post: A Room Full of Grief. You may have read on my other blog that I am involved in a Yoga Class on Grieving and Loss with my "Guru," teacher Corinne Peterson. I have taken a number of classes with her and when I heard she was doing this one I signed up last, I believe, August.

I wanted to spend some time with Corinne to recharge my meditation practice and knew that in many ways I have been grieving Gregory' Dementia  Alzheimer's for the last twelve years since the diagnosis.

Gregory and I have lived well and made the most of our journey but never the less, it has been a slow loss and slow grieving process. Little did I know that shortly before the class was to begin, Gregory would die.

The class has twelve members plus the teacher and has met for two hours every Monday for the last ten weeks. At the first class we shared a little, if we wanted to, about why we decided to take the class. Then we do stretching and movements and finish up with a quiet meditation practice.

A number of realizations have taken place in these sessions. First, I am not alone in grieving. I think when one is in the middle of grief, it is easy to forget that so many others out there are grieving and suffering loss as well. Next it was nice to be able to share with total strangers, a little about how I was feeling and grieving.

In addition no one was telling me to get over my grief, or calling me "poor you," or trying to "make it all better!" As people told their stories I could feel empathy for them even as I was feeling emotional myself. I could see that each of us was dealing with various levels of grief but there was really no hierarchy or evaluating whose grief was greater or lesser.

I could feel the heaviness of grief and loss in the room as the session began and I could feel it slowly dissipate for everyone including myself as we were able to focus our practice, awareness, time, and thoughts more on breath, movement, body, chantings, candle light and less on the weight of our grief.

No doubt the grief, loss, sorrow, emotions would return but hopefully with less wallop and it was nice to have the grief at bay for at least a few hours.

At the end of each session I felt lighter, more in control of my emotions as well as more able to let my emotions ride when I needed them to but not to feel out of control or hysterical.

So maybe this has shown me that there is some strength in groups and community and sharing with fellow humankind even if it is in a room full of grief.

I will need to continue my grieving, I know that it will jump out at me when little expected, but I can also get on with my life without Gregory and feel in good place, as he is now in a more comfortable place than he was while dealing with the slow decline cognitively and physically with Dementia/ Alzheimer's.

(The information about religious groups was taken in part from Google and in part in my own words.)

What Kind of Jew Am I?

Jewish. I definitely am Jewish. You might tell by looking at me but I could also look Mexican, Greek, Mediterranean, or any dark raced person. Recently I have been thinking about what being Jewish means to me.

Embarrassingly it means in part what you often hear, "I love your people's foods!" But I do love traditional Jewish food: corned beef, potato pancakes, chopped liver, chicken soup with a matzo ball or kreplach.

My mother made "Gadempte Chicken" (which means over cooked, falling off the bones chicken,) kishke (cow intestine stuffed with a spicy flour, oil, vegetable mixture,) and tongue (I like the tip of the tongue as the back is fairly fatty.)

I think that last comment sounded rather "tongue in cheek," don't you?

My grandmother taught me how to love Gefilte Fish with strong horse raddish and to spread bone marrow (from the beef bones in the barley soup she made) on rye bread. As an aside she always smelled like the herring and Chubb fish she always seemed to be eating.

I love the taste of Mogen David concord grape wine, the heavy sweet kind, not as a wine connoisseur but rather at Jewish holiday time as part of the food tradition. You can get a pretty good buzz on the stuff which helps make the long, drawn out dinner services easier to get through.

I love Mandel Bread and make a pretty good loaf of these cookies myself. One year I got carried away and creative and made: traditional raisin nut, chocolate chip, lemon poppy seed, cranberry orange walnut, raspberry swirl, and a savory garlic onion.

The later became a joke because it happened by accident when I sliced the loaf of warm, steaming, cookies on a cutting board that earlier in the day had been used to cut up 10 pounds of onions and three heads of garlic.)

But enough about the food. I think that I would call myself a Cultural Jew or a Tradition Jew and not a Religious Jew.

The prayers in Hebrew don't translate for me although the traditional melodies are meaningful and memorable. The rocking while dovening (praying) feels good and comes automatically but for the most part I do not believe in praying.

Praying is OK to me if defined as sending forth a positive energy directed towards hoping for a positive outcome (whether for illness, a pending celebration, or the possibility of a new job.)

Praying is OK to me if it has to do with acknowledging how grateful we are for what we and others have and being optimistic for the good we and others will have.

Sometimes that "positive outcome" is not necessarily what one would expect or hope for. For example when someone is gravely ill, perhaps a "positive outcome" might take place not on this side of life but on the other side which is death. Not that we would want someone we loved to die, but that is not for us to decide!

Or sometimes the loss of a job opportunity is success and puts us in a place to receive and accept a better offer. I believe that every step we take, good or bad, easy or difficult, puts us in the right place for the next best which will happen next.

So if prayer has to do with entreating or begging or bargaining with some source outside of myself, who resides in "heaven," while looking at the sky, hoping for what we think should happen to happen, then NO I do not believe in praying.

Taking a risk here, I do not necessarily believe in a "God," at least not like the religion describes and discusses him but I also cannot disprove the existence of a God so I will not deny him or her!

Let me post script here that these are my opinions, I have the utmost respect for others who hold with beliefs that are not ones to which I hold and I do not try to convince or sell them to "come over to my side of thinking!"

Having been raised a Jew and having served my Bar Mitzvah, I probably have been acculturated to live as a Jew and to embrace life with a Jewish attitude towards "my people," towards myself, towards others, towards life.

Jewish history seems to be my history and Moses, Abraham, and the rest seem to set the example for me but the religion itself and the Jewish God has never given me peace of mind or helped me through personal struggles.

I would guess that much of what my Jewish ancestors went through - like making bricks for the Egyptian Pharaoh, traveling in the dessert for 40 days and nights, like receiving the Ten Commandments, like living through the Holocaust, etc! - has helped shaped my behavior and attitude and are strongly if not at times invisibly part of who I am.

So in summary, yes I am Jewish. I embrace Jewish History, Jewish Culture, Jewish Thinking. When asked I will say, Yes, I am Jewish. Hopefully my attitude, behavior, and appearance does not SHOUT Jewish but I am none-the-less, Jewish.

No, I don't follow or agree with all the Jewish Law or Jewish religious practices. I do not go to temple, even at the High Holidays (Rosh Hashanah and Yom Kippur) when the attendance for the year is always at its highest.

I do not identify with "Zion" or have any desire to go too Israel. I do not follow U.S. /Israeli politics and honestly feel that is not something I need to care about (with the exception that all people should be free to worship (or not) as they please!)

So there you have it. Nutshell Judaism. I am sure I have not finished thinking about this topic so you might see more here on the blog.

A Recurring Theme

Parents can't choose the mates of their children or the behavior of their children. You actually can't choose anything for your children without disempowering them.

---Abraham 
http://www.abraham-hicks.com/lawofattractionsource/about_abraham.php

When a child has a dream and a parent says, "It's not financially feasible; you can't make a living at that; don't do it," we say to the child, run away from home... You must follow your dream. You will never be joyful if you don't. Your dream may change, but you've got to stay after your dreams. You have to.

---Abraham

When we look at ourselves in the mirror, we often hear a narrative in our mind of what we see, a definition of self in the form of an identity that is based on our "agreements" -- the thoughts and beliefs we have said yes to. This identity stems from ideological beliefs that have come to us over a period of time from our family, culture, religion, education, friends ... etc.

---Don Miguel Ruiz Jr.

http://www.miguelruiz.com/index.php?p=MiguelJr

The purpose of a spiritual path is to take us beyond inner dogmas and habitual patterns of thinking and behavior in order to deeply develop conscious experience. Otherwise, conditioned concepts of who we are--as a result of our upbringing, education, communities, culture, and so on--lock us into ways of being that can bring stress, hardship, and confusion, and most importantly, that can block the fruition of our inner potential.

--Buddhist Master Segyu Rinpoche

http://www.juniperpath.org

When we are under stress we can lose connection and as a result, begin to steal energy from others. It is at this time we can determine what methods we use to control others. There are four "control dramas." 

Poor Me - We make others feel guilty for not doing enough for us. When he or she buys into this "guilt trip", we gain energy. 

Aloof - We remain detached, secretive, and vague in hopes to entice someone into chasing us around in order to figure us out. Energy is gained from the attention. 

Interrogator - We attempt to control others by "finding fault" and making others feel self-conscious. 

Intimidator - We win energy by frightening others into paying attention. 

In order to progress spiritually, we need to identify the drama/dramas that apply to us and when they occur, we need to control and subdue them. By analyzing our parents and their own control dramas we can understand the two points of view that were integrated into our early lives. We can also understand where our own dramas originated from and why.

http://www.crossingover2.com/The_Celestine_Prophecy.html

However, the following is also important:

Each of us is the next step in evolution along the lineage created by our two parents. Our higher purpose on earth can be found by recognizing what our parents accomplished and where they left off. By reconciling what they gave us with what they left us to resolve, we can get a clear picture of who we are and what we are meant to do.

James Redfield, The Celestine Prophecy

On FInding God: The Quinternity

On Finding God

December 2, 2009

“One of the main functions of formalized religion is to protect people against a direct experience of God.” 

C.G. Jung

The Past

I have always, until recently, avoided following a given religion or believing in God. I was raised Jewish, was Bar Mitzvahed, and certainly enjoy the traditions, stories, and foods of the Jewish Holidays. 

Judaism, however, based on what might be my limited study has never given me a feeling of peace or an understanding of why life unfolds as it does. It has not given me a “personal GOD” or a “direct experience with GOD.” It certainly has provided me with “questions” but certainly not the “answers” I am looking for.

I have some knowledge of the great religions of the world and not one feels any closer to meeting my needs, although I do appreciate the traditions, stories, and foods of many of those holidays as well. 

I have always said that I have Faith, but am not sure of Faith in what. I have always admired and envied people who could feel a personal GOD (recently I have been searching,) who could Believe (but in what,) who could find solace in Prayers (I don’t.) I have always described myself as a Spiritual Person not a Religious Person and while this has given me a way of explaining myself and my moral behavior, it hasn’t given me much Peace of Mind.

Being Gay doesn’t help. How can one believe in a religion which professes that we “Love Thy Neighbor” and then denies my love. How can any religion say they are all accepting and then not accept my life as I have inherited it and/or chosen it? How can any religion say I am OK as I am, as long as I do not practice who I am? But that is a topic for future discussion!

The Quest

Recently I have been studying this GOD conundrum. With my current, difficult life situation acting as a catalyst in my “Search for God,” I have sought a way to find peace, contentment, guidance, and quite honestly just a way to get outside of myself, my fears, my sadness, and my pain. I cannot imagine seeking drugs or alcohol to do so and have never been a person who buries his head in the sand or enjoys denial. So where do I go? Where do I turn?

In my recent studies, I have read the “Bible” (Old and New Testament,) “How to Practice The Way to a Meaningful Life” by the Dalai Lama, “The Four Agreements” by Don Miguel Ruiz, “There is a Spiritual Solution to Every Problem” by Wayne Dyer, “The Evolution of God” by Robert Wright, among others. I have had deep conversations with my Jungian therapist/psychologist Dr. Peter Demuth. I have drifted off to sleep thinking about my dilemma, my search. I have talked with friends. I have become more aware of similar “searches” in the fiction reading I have done and in the movies I have watched.

While my studies have not yet given me the Peace I am looking for, I believe I am getting closer. I think I have been able to condense what I have gained from all of these studies combined with my life experiences and have begun to see a common thread. I suspect that all of them have assisted me in being closer to obtaining Peace and eventually I will be able to say:

“I HAVE FOUND GOD!”

The Present

A breakthrough came when I entertained the possibility that there could be a SPIRITUAL GOD. Until now I have thought only of GOD in terms of the various formal religions and couldn’t find a fit for myself with this RELIGIOUS GOD. I therefore dismissed any GOD. But perhaps there is, instead, a SPIRITUAL GOD. And perhaps I have found him, or her, or that greater entity!

Even with this new awareness of the possibility of a SPIRITUAL GOD, but based on past history, I must work on not visualizing a white bearded old man who is benevolent or judging or punishing. I try not to visualize a young, good looking teacher with golden flowing hair. Or a Buddha? Or Allah? I must still work at not assuming the word GOD belongs to any particular formal religion. I continue to work at not accepting the Bible as GOD’s law, cannot accept words like Sin or Evil or Ten Commandments (in principal yes but not having been handed down on clay tablets,) and certainly cannot understand killing others in the name of GOD.

On the RELIGIOUS GOD’s side, formal religions vary. Catholicism has the Trinity: Father, Son, Holy Spirit (formerly The Holy Ghost.) Hinduism has the Brahman and his many representations in the form of deities. Islam and Judiasm have One God. Buddhism does not deny the existence of god but rejects subservience to any kind to a supreme God. 

Prayer to the RELIGIOUS GOD, for most people, seems to consist of begging or bargaining or pleading and reciting rote materials which look for, praise, or give thanks for an external existence and/or intervention. While praying at home is acceptable, going to a house of worship where one can “talk” with GOD, seems to get greater results and in some religions, the only place to get results.

NOW FOR THE EPIPHANY. “I’ll take curtain number 3 please”

epiphany |iˈpifənē|

noun ( pl. -nies) (also Epiphany)

the manifestation of Christ to the Gentiles as represented by the Magi (Matthew 2:1–12).

1) the festival commemorating this on January 6.

2) a manifestation of a divine or supernatural being.

3)  a moment of sudden revelation or insight.

On the SPIRITUAL GOD’s side, I have found GOD to be a personal ... STATE OF MIND ... not an external entity. With a SPIRITUAL GOD, I have discovered that instead of a Trinity, or a “One God,” and closer to Buddhism’s lack of a Supreme God, for me a Quinternity exists. The QUINTERNITY of GOD as a STATE OF MIND includes: 1) Truth 2) Love, 3) Forgiveness, 4) Peace, and 5) Faith.

The five parts of the QUINTERNITY are related to and build on each other. This QUINTERNITY exists internally, has to do with how I think, and is part of my moral behavior. It does not exist externally, outside of me in a god, a heaven (and certainly not in Hell.) 

Also I have found SPIRITUAL PRAYER to be a STATE OF MIND that exists internally and reflects my understanding of the five parts of the Quinternity which are the basic principals which guide my life, my thoughts, my actions. Spiritual Prayer consists of meditating on these principals, drawing on them when needed, and in making them part of my daily life. I call this mediation THE GOD TEST of a situation.

The QUINTERNITY of the SPIRITUAL GOD as a STATE OF MIND

TRUTH: Behind every situation (action, event, thought, feeling, illness, response, etc) there is a Truth as to why it is happening or why it has happened. I believe that when one looks for, is aware of, and understands the “Truth in It,” one is better able to accept and deal positively with any situation. I also believe that merely by being aware that a Truth exists, even thought one may not understand the Truth itself (or that a particular Truth has been lost forever but at one time did exist,) one is better able to accept and deal positively with the situation. To me, GOD is the STATE OF MIND behind looking for the Truth in each situation.

LOVE: When you deal with each situation and approach every aspect of your life with Love for others and Love for yourself, you are acknowledging that we all come from and are part of the same Source. We all share similar experiences with differing levels of understanding of the Truth behind those experiences but in one way or another, we all share being alive. To me, GOD is the STATE OF MIND behind Love of self and others.

FORGIVENESS: When you acknowledge that everyone is somewhere along the continuum of awareness and understanding of Truth and Love; you realize that differences, conflicts, and negativity will arise. Forgiveness of others is the ability to realize that these differences, conflicts, and negativity are not personally directed at you and are not indicative of a failure on the part of others. Forgiveness of self is the ability to realize that these differences, conflicts, and negativity should not be blamed on others and are not indicative of a failure on your part. Forgiveness is the ability to move on. Forgiveness allows you to hold on to Truth and Love. To me, GOD is the STATE OF MIND behind Forgiveness of self and others.

PEACE: By always looking for the Truth behind the seemingly uncomfortable and difficult day to day occurrences in your life, by affirming with gratitude the Truth behind the seemingly pleasant and easy day to day occurrences in your life, and by doing so with Love and Forgiveness, conflict and negativity will be minimal or nonexistent. The feeling that comes with this state of being I call Peace. To me, GOD is the STATE OF MIND behind being at Peace.

FAITH: Having Faith allows you to hold on to the understanding that as life unfolds, through its joys and sorrows: (1) Truth exits even if it is not visible, (2) Love allows you to show respect and understanding for yourself and others, (3) Forgiveness allows each of us to be at our unique place on the continuum of Truth, Love, and Forgiveness, (4) Peace will be yours with these realizations, and (5) Faith will help you hold on to these understandings and help you live your life in a way that will allow you to find a Spiritual GOD, your personal GOD, the GOD within you, the GOD who is you, and to have a direct experience with GOD.

My Religion

From Breakfast with Buddha by Roland Merullo. My expansion on the idea: "I wondered what my own religion might be. If I had defined it that way, that broadly, as the primary focus of my thourhts and passions, what would it be?"

My religion would embrace love and acceptance.

It would ask that one not judge others.

It would ask us to forgive others who we feel have wronged us.

It would ask us to seek forgiveness from others whom we may have wronged.

It would be a religion of being kind to oneself and to others.

It would ask one to actively work in whatever way one could at helping the world to be a better place.

It would ask the follower, if at all possible and in any small or large way, to help others in need and minimally to acknowledge the need not ignore it.

The religion would not need to take place in a special place or with a group of people but if that felt right, it could.

There would be no expense to run the religion and therefore would not take any fundraising or have any financial needs.

Everyone could be part of the religion whatever their financial, socio economic, or educational, racial, or sexual identification background.

It would include sharing the meal table with others as often as possible.

Breakfast with Buddha

From Breakfast with Buddha by Roland Merullo.

If Christ's message could be distilled down to one line, that line would have to do with kindness and inclusiveness, not rules and divisiveness.

Spiritual vs Religious

Buddhism is more and more entering our life. Gregory has always said that if any religion meant anything to him it was Buddhism. I feel the same and have decided to learn more about it and to behave more like a Buddhist (although not sure what that means yet. I would suspect it embraces many of the ways that we already behave and will add a few more.)

We have three Tibetan Buddhist Prayer bowls (of high, medium, and low range) on the table by our front door. On leaving and entering the condo as well as on entering and leaving the day, we strike them gently with a wooden baton. The sound of their harmony is quite peaceful.

I used to call it "our way of praying" but then I would have to explain the spiritual vs religious, and the discomfort with the concept of prayer. We consider ourselves Spriitual NOT Religious. My discomfort with prayer comes, from among other reasons, 1) preferring to pray by myself instead of in a prescribed way, place, or time. 2) Not liking the idea of begging or promising to "be different" in exchange for better treatment. 3) making it seem like prayer excuses one from being responsible for one's own actions and life events, 4) Feeling like I am looking out for an answer instead of looking in. and 5) When "Bad Things Happen To Good People" not going into the "poor me, why me" mode as opposed to looking at how one can live with a positive mind set with what one is dealt ... because sometime "shit just happens."

Recently I have begun explaining the tradition (prayer bowls ceremony) as "Our way of acknowledging, by sending our message out into the universe, that there are forces and understandings far greater then we know at this point in time and hoping to learn from those forces and understandings." 

We also have a "Prayer Wheel" on the table. One spins the drum with its written prayer, fastened inside a hand painted alter type container, sending vibrations out into the universe with our message. In Japan, person sized drums are attached to the full length of temples and people spin them as they walk by as a from of prayer.

Another part of ouyr ceremony takes place continuously as the Tibetan Buddhist Prayer Flags, flying out on our balcony, slowly disintegrate  and send their threads out into the universe. I do not know what the prayers on the flags or drum say, but that really doesn't matter does it? Just the doing and the knowing that right will out is what counts.

We are adding one more piece to the ceremony, a bell that is inverted and struck by a small brass hammer. In contrast, prayer bowls sit on a cushion while this bell balances on a pin and therefore sounds purer and longer. The concept was introduced to us by our God Son Isaac who just returned from Japan. You sound the bell and then meditate for as long as you can hear the bell plus a little longer for that which you cannot hear. A moment to go within to see what awaits you.

Will share more as we continue or look at Buddhism, but I would guess that it is more a philosophy of life than it is a prescribed way of dealing with life.

Family of a Different Sort

Last night Gregory and I shared the Sabbath with Jan and Jake and Isaac, Sheldon and Laurie (Jan's brother and sister-in-law,) their friends Janet and Dave and Laurie and Mike (now our friends too.)

Defined, the Sabbath is a day of religious observance and abstinence from work, kept by Jews from Friday evening to Saturday evening, and by most Christians on Sunday and while Muslims do not celebrate the Sabbath like Jews or Christians, they do have a day of prayer on Friday.

For Jews it is most significantly celebrated in the home at sundown on Friday with the blessings over the candles, the wine, and the bread, followed by a home cooked meal.

You have heard me say often that Gregory and I are NOT religious. He is NOT Catholic-ish and I am NOT Jewish-ish. At least in the religious sense. In the spiritual sense, YES. In the celebrations of tradition, YES. In relation to a well cooked brisket of beef or a Christmas Tree, YES. 

But the Sabbath is much more to us than religious, as we once again experienced last evening. It is the coming together of people we care for, it is taking a moment in time to remember what we have to be grateful for: food, light, shelter, health, family, friends.

It was a chance to chat and share with Sheldon and his wife Laurie, whom we haven't seen in many years. It was the always interesting time we spend with Janet and Dave, Laurie and Michael. It was the love and closeness and support and those things in common which we always feel when with Jan and Jake.

It was spending time with our God-Son Isaac, recently home from Japan where he taught for a year, and appreciating him and his ideas and his humor and his outlook on life and his reminder that we too were once young (should I say "and foolish and wise?") 

It is a reminder that we are loved and that we love in return. "Good Shabbas," as is said.

From Urban Times: Spiritual Without Religion?

Can You Be Spiritual Without Religion?

2 Commentsby SAMI ZOUEHID on November 12, 2011

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Source: flickr.com/photos/vincos/

Can one be spiritual without being religious? When you sit back today, in November 2011, and reflect on the fabulous attempts made by humanityas a whole are you really surprised by what we see in front of us?

Do you sense a period or a prolonged moment of crisis with the spirit of humanity in general? How about the fundamentalists that have scarred and manipulated the peaceful essence of monolithic religions which has turned so many of us to question their purpose in our daily and spiritual lives?

A famous French philosopher, by the name of Pierre Teilhard de Chardin  who was also part of the Jesuits was controversial and questioned the static dogmatic notions and centuries of truths of organized religion to try and uncover the real meaning within his own faith. One of his conclusions after much soul searching, traveling and reflection equated to “we are not human beings having a spiritual experience. We are spiritual beings having a human experience”.

Did you ever wonder why you weren’t able to question the card you were dealt in terms of religion, the scriptures and the ‘word’ that accompany them .How come any other facet of our lives we are granted free reign to peel apart the layers until its totally exposed from all sides, giving us the opportunity to come up with our own conclusions. Can someone provide us with a true explanation? If you don’t prescribe or practice a certain religion you are frowned upon or seen in certain quarters of society as the cliché goes a “non-believer”, which often seems ironic since a portion of the accusers have no ground to stand on when it comes to traditional values or morals. 

Baruch de Spinoza (bn. 1632 – d.1677). Source: Wikipedia.

Life is full of different elements and often is a paradox, none of which more prevalent than the notion of spirituality, which is seen as not accessible without religion. A Dutch/Jewish philosopher, Baruch Spinoza; who renounced his allegiance to his Jewish ancestors and pursued to understand the notion of spiritual enlightenment amongst other complex areas of existence was once quoted as saying; the only law is “Justice and Charity”, the only wisdom is “love” and the only virtue is “do good and live in joy”.

Isn’t being a good decent human soul in essence what being spiritual is about? Do we not all carry a sense of morality, ethics and values that guide and teach us to maneuver our way through life upon the right path unique to our personal journey? Are we not all peaceful loving beings at the core of our existence, who sense a feeling of compassion when you see a fellow passion suffering irrespective of color creed, religion.

You don’t have all the answers yet can you not see after thousands of centuries of human existence that we are evolved to a certain extent to universally agree what it means to have a purposeful, caring and compassionate spirit within us.

Whether you are religious or not doesn’t determine if you are genuine spirits or not , maybe what really matter is our pursuit of the greater good within our souls for the better of humanity and the environment as a whole….

After all what you do know is that leading a life of compassion, love and charity to one another allows your soul to gravitate beyond petty egotistic arguments regarding your “faith” of choice, or whether you conform or not to a particular belief system tangled within a religious or cultural society you were raised within.


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