Sunday, January 31, 2016
YING and YANG: A Quote
"What is the measure of one's YING and YANG when the balance wants to be stark simplicity vs overplayed complexity?" Horvich 2016
A Tiny Gift
Jenny Schrider, museum designer extraordinaire, was designer of Michael's Museum: A Curious Collection of Tiny Treasures, now a permanent exhibit at Chicago Children's Museum on Navy pier since May, 2011.
At Gregory's memorial (Click to visit post about the memorial. Opens in a new window.), which was installed last week at the museum, she presented me with this gift. The inside, pictured above, features a wooden pop-up table with a house of cards (each card measuring ½" by ⅜".)
On the outside she wrote: "Michael, This started as an expression of the magic you possess and became some sort of prototype for a flea circus trick! With your wealth of experiences so genuinely present in you always, Gregory for sure lives on in the "Magic" that is you! Much love, Jenny
Hiding
Thanks to Sarah for sharing this with me:
"Hiding is a way of staying alive. Hiding is a way of holding ourselves until we are ready to come into the light. Even hiding the truth from ourselves can be a way to come to what we need in our own necessary time. Hiding is one of the brilliant and virtuoso practices of almost every part of the natural world: the protective quiet of an icy northern landscape, the held bud of a future summer rose, the snow bound internal pulse of the hibernating bear.
Hiding is underestimated. We are hidden by life in our mother’s womb until we grow and ready ourselves for our first appearance in the lighted world; to appear too early in that world is to find ourselves with the immediate necessity for outside intensive care.
Hiding done properly is the internal faithful promise for a proper future emergence, as embryos, as children or even as emerging adults in retreat from the names that have caught us and imprisoned us, often in ways where we have been too easily seen and too easily named.
Hiding done properly is the internal faithful promise for a proper future emergence, as embryos, as children or even as emerging adults in retreat from the names that have caught us and imprisoned us, often in ways where we have been too easily seen and too easily named.
We live in a time of the dissected soul, the immediate disclosure; our thoughts, imaginings and longings exposed to the light too much, too early and too often, our best qualities squeezed too soon into a world already awash with too easily articulated ideas that oppress our sense of self and our sense of others. What is real is almost always to begin with, hidden, and does not want to be understood by the part of our mind that mistakenly thinks it knows what is happening. What is precious inside us does not care to be known by the mind in ways that diminish its presence.
Hiding is an act of freedom from the misunderstanding of others, especially in the enclosing world of oppressive secret government and private entities, attempting to name us, to anticipate us, to leave us with no place to hide and grow in ways unmanaged by a creeping necessity for absolute naming, absolute tracking and absolute control. Hiding is a bid for independence, from others, from mistaken ideas we have about our selves, from an oppressive and mistaken wish to keep us completely safe, completely ministered to, and therefore completely managed.
Hiding is creative, necessary and beautifully subversive of outside interference and control. Hiding leaves life to itself, to become more of itself. Hiding is the radical independence necessary for our emergence into the light of a proper human future."
Nothing Is Sacred When You Have Dementia
The link below is to a well articulated blog post written by Faith, a fellow blogger friend diagnosed with Dementia when she was 43 years old, now 47.
Her diagnosis is called "Major Neurocognitive Disorder" … the new DSM5's dx for dementia, trying to get away from word "dementia" due to stigma.
While there are some typos and language difficulties, her shared insight into what she is going through is amazing, disheartening, and sad.
Yet beautifully so, she remains optimistic, positive, and upbeat!
Hopefully it can help us be better in our dealings with and relationships to the people we love who are living with Dementia/ Alzheimer’s and other disabling illnesses.
Flying Free
When Gregory was at Lieberman, I remember being at the Botanic Garden and crying. During good weather I go to the garden at least every other month, have lunch in the cafe, and visit my favorite areas of the park.
This activity was one of the things Gregory and I did together often and we both enjoyed being outdoors, nature, flowers, paths, trees, and conversation. One time we were caught in the rain without an umbrella, so we sat on a bench under a clump of low evergreen trees. It was not lightening so we felt safe and there were taller trees over us, but further away, so we felt safer.
On my visits alone, after lunch, I would seek a private corner of the rose garden, or the waterfall, or the Japanese Island and cry. At times like those I missed being with Gregory so much and the pain expressed itself.
I yearned to share again with him and grieved his inability to see what I was seeing, to be able to be out in this glorious environment which he loved so much. I fantasized about the impossible task of loading him into the car, getting him into a wheelchair at the garden, and sharing the wonder with him once again.
I grieved the so many things he could no longer, and would never be able to do again. Not only being out in nature at the Botanic Garden but also vacations, epicurean meals out, walks in quiet neighborhoods, museum visits, seeing a movie, the opera, riding his favorite: a ferris wheel, the larger and the higher the better!
Now that he is gone, dead, on the Spirit plane; last night drifting off to sleep, which is when I do my best thinking, I realized that my take on this has changed. Often I have grieved Gregory's not being able to do so many things but now none of this matters.
Gregory no longer needs to do things, to experience things, to enjoy things ... he IS these things. Gregory is everything and everywhere. He is the wind, the rain, the sun, the flowers, the trees, the benches under which one can sit during a rain storm without worrying about lightening.
Gregory now shares everything I do without any effort, without needing an invitation since so much of his spirit is present in me, in my thoughts, in my love. As I was walking down the path to the Miniature Evergreen Garden, still mostly covered in snow, I commented aloud, "Beautiful, isn't it?"
The answer was silent but it was immediate, "Yes, beautiful!"
This activity was one of the things Gregory and I did together often and we both enjoyed being outdoors, nature, flowers, paths, trees, and conversation. One time we were caught in the rain without an umbrella, so we sat on a bench under a clump of low evergreen trees. It was not lightening so we felt safe and there were taller trees over us, but further away, so we felt safer.
On my visits alone, after lunch, I would seek a private corner of the rose garden, or the waterfall, or the Japanese Island and cry. At times like those I missed being with Gregory so much and the pain expressed itself.
I yearned to share again with him and grieved his inability to see what I was seeing, to be able to be out in this glorious environment which he loved so much. I fantasized about the impossible task of loading him into the car, getting him into a wheelchair at the garden, and sharing the wonder with him once again.
I grieved the so many things he could no longer, and would never be able to do again. Not only being out in nature at the Botanic Garden but also vacations, epicurean meals out, walks in quiet neighborhoods, museum visits, seeing a movie, the opera, riding his favorite: a ferris wheel, the larger and the higher the better!
Now that he is gone, dead, on the Spirit plane; last night drifting off to sleep, which is when I do my best thinking, I realized that my take on this has changed. Often I have grieved Gregory's not being able to do so many things but now none of this matters.
Gregory no longer needs to do things, to experience things, to enjoy things ... he IS these things. Gregory is everything and everywhere. He is the wind, the rain, the sun, the flowers, the trees, the benches under which one can sit during a rain storm without worrying about lightening.
Gregory now shares everything I do without any effort, without needing an invitation since so much of his spirit is present in me, in my thoughts, in my love. As I was walking down the path to the Miniature Evergreen Garden, still mostly covered in snow, I commented aloud, "Beautiful, isn't it?"
The answer was silent but it was immediate, "Yes, beautiful!"
Saturday, January 30, 2016
Co-dependence and Dementia: Revisited
In reply to a post by Kate Swaffer:
http://kateswaffer.com/2016/01/30/co-dependence-and-dementia/ (opens in a second window.)
Kate, your comment says it all: "A healthy relationship is a partnership, an alliance, not some game with winners and losers, and when the interaction in a relationship becomes a power struggle, due in part to the fact that care partners and others are given all the power over us, and people with dementia are Prescribed Disengagement®, there can be no winners."
Kate, I feel that the problem with Dementia/ Alzheimer's itself is that in the end there are no winners, only people trying to live their lives as well as possible with a disease that even kindly can only be called insidious!
There will always be 1) people trying to help and succeeding, 2) people trying to help but ending up hurting, 3) people trying to hurt and succeeding. With Alzheimer's Caregiving Partners, whether family or professional; we see self-serving people and altruistic people, giving people and taking people, informed helpers and uninformed helpers, quality of care people and bottom line financial budget people.
Perhaps closer study and research; using comparisons of how people diagnosed with other life threatening and life ending illnesses are treated and supported by family, friends, professionals, agencies, governments, etc; could help clarify the dementia caregiving partner model and create one which would be more equal to and more appropriate for the nature of supporting people with Dementia/ Alzheimer's!
I believe that contributing factors to this care giving partnership thinking are more complex than the Dementia itself. In healthy, functional relationships, living life can be easier. In unhealthy, dysfunctional relationships, living life can be harder. Either way life itself can be at the same time a "fight" right beside a "dance" and the Dementia complicates it. This is true not only for love relationships but also family and health care organizations and governmental agencies. Functional vs non-functional!
Finally, with Dementia/ Alzheimer's, eventually the person diagnosed will need to have someone make all of the decisions about meeting their wishes, care, treatment. Eventually the person with Dementia/ Alzheimer's will not be able to make known their needs, wishes, discomforts, pains, desires, etc.
Perhaps the best way to deal with this is for the Caregiving team to try to talk about or put into writing, the details of how the Caregiving Partnership Model might look for the person needing such. Attempting to clarify how they want to be dealt with when the time comes that they are no longer able to coherently deal with life's major as well as day to day decisions can solve a lot of decision problems for all members of the Caregiving Team. Often families and/or the people with Dementia are not emotionally able or willing to be open and honest about the disease and their wishes for the future.
Hopefully in time, with more awareness, the "RIGHT" people and ideas and approaches will win out. I think the best way to continue aiming in the right direction is: "NOTHING ABOUT US, WITHOUT US!"
http://kateswaffer.com/2016/01/30/co-dependence-and-dementia/ (opens in a second window.)
Kate, your comment says it all: "A healthy relationship is a partnership, an alliance, not some game with winners and losers, and when the interaction in a relationship becomes a power struggle, due in part to the fact that care partners and others are given all the power over us, and people with dementia are Prescribed Disengagement®, there can be no winners."
Kate, I feel that the problem with Dementia/ Alzheimer's itself is that in the end there are no winners, only people trying to live their lives as well as possible with a disease that even kindly can only be called insidious!
There will always be 1) people trying to help and succeeding, 2) people trying to help but ending up hurting, 3) people trying to hurt and succeeding. With Alzheimer's Caregiving Partners, whether family or professional; we see self-serving people and altruistic people, giving people and taking people, informed helpers and uninformed helpers, quality of care people and bottom line financial budget people.
Perhaps closer study and research; using comparisons of how people diagnosed with other life threatening and life ending illnesses are treated and supported by family, friends, professionals, agencies, governments, etc; could help clarify the dementia caregiving partner model and create one which would be more equal to and more appropriate for the nature of supporting people with Dementia/ Alzheimer's!
I believe that contributing factors to this care giving partnership thinking are more complex than the Dementia itself. In healthy, functional relationships, living life can be easier. In unhealthy, dysfunctional relationships, living life can be harder. Either way life itself can be at the same time a "fight" right beside a "dance" and the Dementia complicates it. This is true not only for love relationships but also family and health care organizations and governmental agencies. Functional vs non-functional!
Finally, with Dementia/ Alzheimer's, eventually the person diagnosed will need to have someone make all of the decisions about meeting their wishes, care, treatment. Eventually the person with Dementia/ Alzheimer's will not be able to make known their needs, wishes, discomforts, pains, desires, etc.
Perhaps the best way to deal with this is for the Caregiving team to try to talk about or put into writing, the details of how the Caregiving Partnership Model might look for the person needing such. Attempting to clarify how they want to be dealt with when the time comes that they are no longer able to coherently deal with life's major as well as day to day decisions can solve a lot of decision problems for all members of the Caregiving Team. Often families and/or the people with Dementia are not emotionally able or willing to be open and honest about the disease and their wishes for the future.
Hopefully in time, with more awareness, the "RIGHT" people and ideas and approaches will win out. I think the best way to continue aiming in the right direction is: "NOTHING ABOUT US, WITHOUT US!"
Friday, January 29, 2016
M A R I O N E T T E
Walking down a distant cobble stone street in a distant arrondissement in Paris, I came across a narrow alley over which a weather beaten, powder blue, oval sign with faded black letters that simply spelled
M A R I O N E T T E, squeaked and waved and rusted in the breeze.
The door to the shop was open and I could see in as the aged proprietor was bent over one of his creations trying to mend the twisted and knotted strings of the handsome male dancer marionette. He looked up and noticed me noticing him.
At first I felt embarrassed for spying on the old man at work but realized he did not see it that way. He smiled and with his arthritic hand motioned for me to come into the shop. He invited me to poke around at my leisure and to feel free to ask him or his wife any questions that I might have.
On the wall, hanging in a line behind him, were beautiful hand made marionettes including people (kings - queens - mothers - fathers - children,) performers (jugglers - dancers - magicians - singers,) animals (pets - farm - zoo - circus,) and other marionette objects as well (buildings - trees - stop lights - cars.)
Many of the toys in the toy shop were made by the old man and his wife. He did the carving and she did the sewing. He did the forming and she did the painting. You could tell that he was a little more organized in his work and she was a little more messy. But they were a good team and their skills complimented each other.
Not much conversation took place between the old man, the old woman, and me. They continued to work at their projects and I wandered around the shop investigating one marvel after another; one pile of puppets, one collection of tiny treasures, one rack of neatly lined up cars, one cabinet of furry huggable Teddy Bears, one box of colorful tops and striped balls, one marvel after another.
Through the open door of the shop, from somewhere in the courtyard outside, I began to hear the chiming of the clock tower. The clock first announced itself and then counted the hour at 5:00.
"That clock is always a little off," commented the old woman to no one in particular. The old man and old woman stirred from their separate project preoccupations and carefully, slowly stood up, stretching in place.
When they noticed me, it was almost as if they had forgotten or maybe never knew that I was in the shop with them. "Well," announced the old man to no one in particular, "Must be time for our tea."
"I guess I must be going then," I commented almost apologetically for having invaded their spaced and I began moving towards the door.
"No, no!" reacted the old woman. "You must join us for tea and some freshly baked scones. Do you prefer blueberry or raspberry? Please come upstairs and join us!"
"Well, I would be honored," I replied, "I have so many questions to ask you about all the wonderful things you have in your shop and about your loving work with the toys. Then after our tea, I will pick out a few items that I would like to purchase."
"Oh my. Oh my!" they both uttered in unison. The old man continues, "Nothing in the shop is for sale you know. Did you think this was a toy shop? Well it is a shop, but not that kind of shop."
"This place here is our workshop, not a for sale shop," continued the woman. "It is where we spend our time all year making and fixing toys of all sorts. Sometimes neighbor children bring in their broken items and we try to fix them but mostly the toys we work with are for giving away to the orphanage up the hill. The children there are so sweet and so need love and attention. We spend most of our days making and fixing toys for them."
As we climbed the narrow, creaking stairway to their living quarters, the old man whispered, "If you would like to have a toy or two I suppose that would be OK. You strike me as a person, like my wife and me, who still has a lot of the child about them. Do you take milk in your tea?"
• • •
This fiction story introduced itself to me in a dream the other night. The parts of the dream which I remembered had to do with the Paris passageway, the shop, and the live puppy which I at first thought was one of the puppets in the shop. The rest I created as a writing exercise.
This is my first attempt at this kind of writing. In my mind I pictured what each step of the story might be like and then I wrote that paragraph. The next paragraph was created after I purposefully thought about it or after an idea that just seemed to come to me unexpectedly showed up; like the ending that the shop is not really a shop. After a paragraph was written, I either searched the internet or my own photographs for an illustration.
I created the old man and old woman and in some ways I am not only the visitor to the shop but also both of the characters I created, also I love raspberry and blueberry scones!
Post Script Comments: He was right about there being a lot of the child still in me! It is very apparent in my home as well as in my attitude. Check out my museum, Michael's Museum: A Curious Collection of Tiny Treasures, which has been a permanent exhibit at Chicago Children's Museum on Navy Pier since May of 2011.
(opens in a new window)
Wednesday, January 27, 2016
More Than Ever
Personal thoughts on how I am establishing a non-physical relationship with Gregory as our love continues and grows stronger each day. I love him MORE THAN EVER!
As you know, when we first received Gregory's diagnosis of Dementia/ Alzheimer's Disease, we reaffirmed that we loved each other More Than Ever. And sure enough we did continue not only to love each other more but continued to fall more in love with each other each day as his, my, our needs continued to change.
So we named our trust which safe guarded his continued care in the even of my dying before he did the More Than Ever Trust. And now we have named the education fund that will help provide financial support to homeless youth, the More Than Ever Education Fund.
As I continue the process of grieving Gregory's death I have taken Yoga and Meditation classes, read daily inspirations about Grief, found a wonderful book by Karla Helbert on Yoga and Grieving, and am taking again after many years a class in Tai Chi. I laugh, I cry, I giggle, I sob.
In many ways I have been able to create a new non-physical body relationship with Gregory by talking with him and in my mind, hearing him reply. I know that this is nothing new to any of you who have grieved for the loss of someone you love(ed.) I use the love(ed) construction if only because we all know that the love never stops, it just changes.
Re-read if you need to Karla Halberts comments on building a new relationship with the one who has left the human form behind. http://mhorvich.blogspot.com/2016/01/moving-away-from-physical.html
Another thing I do is sit with Gregory's remains, located in his Grandma Carrie's sewing box which lives on the book case shelf in my bedroom. I sit on the edge of the bed and we have a conversation now and then. I tell him about how I am doing, I tell him that I hope he is also doing well on his new journey.
I tell him about my adventures, new things I'm doing around the condo like growing a succulent garden, making his old office into my new office, creating a reading corner in the bedroom.
I discuss my plans for upcoming vacations and travel I hope to soon begin.
I buy things for Gregory and put them on his shelf. For Christmas I bought him a bar of his favorite chocolate and some Walker's Short Bread Cookies. The chocolate is still there but I ate the cookies shortly after Christmas.
How is that any different than children putting out cookies for Santa Claus and their being pleased to see that the cookies were eaten when Santa delivered their presents?
How is that any different than when Mexican families put out the favorite foods and drinks on their DÃa de los Metros (Day of the Dead) offerenda (alter) celebrating the people they love who have died? Later the food and drink is shared with the living members of the dead one being celebrated.
On Gregory's shelf I have some favorite objects of his for example the "counting beads" made of beautifully polished natural seeds. A deck of cards sits there to remind him of how he loved to collect playing cards with unusual patterns on the covers.
Tonight as I was eating dinner at Johnny Rockets, hamburger and fries being my favorite meal, I imagined him enjoying the meal with me.
When I walk around the Botanic Garden of Chicago I share with him and remember his love of gardening and nature.
I talk about him to others least they not forget and so I do not forget that he is no longer with me. A couple of times I had dreams which on waking up caused me to forget that he has died. Those times are more painful then when I wake up knowing he is gone.
Tonight I bought him two pieces of Lady Godiva dark chocolate as an early Valentine's Day gift and put the bag of candy by his photo. I'll probably end up eating them before the holiday arrives but that will give me an excuse to buy him some more.
Every night after I finish reading, I put my book away, glance over at the photograph of Gregory on his shelf and wish him "Good Night!" Sometimes I imagine (or really do) hear him say, "I love you too, Michael. I love you more than ever!"
As you know, when we first received Gregory's diagnosis of Dementia/ Alzheimer's Disease, we reaffirmed that we loved each other More Than Ever. And sure enough we did continue not only to love each other more but continued to fall more in love with each other each day as his, my, our needs continued to change.
So we named our trust which safe guarded his continued care in the even of my dying before he did the More Than Ever Trust. And now we have named the education fund that will help provide financial support to homeless youth, the More Than Ever Education Fund.
As I continue the process of grieving Gregory's death I have taken Yoga and Meditation classes, read daily inspirations about Grief, found a wonderful book by Karla Helbert on Yoga and Grieving, and am taking again after many years a class in Tai Chi. I laugh, I cry, I giggle, I sob.
In many ways I have been able to create a new non-physical body relationship with Gregory by talking with him and in my mind, hearing him reply. I know that this is nothing new to any of you who have grieved for the loss of someone you love(ed.) I use the love(ed) construction if only because we all know that the love never stops, it just changes.
Re-read if you need to Karla Halberts comments on building a new relationship with the one who has left the human form behind. http://mhorvich.blogspot.com/2016/01/moving-away-from-physical.html
Another thing I do is sit with Gregory's remains, located in his Grandma Carrie's sewing box which lives on the book case shelf in my bedroom. I sit on the edge of the bed and we have a conversation now and then. I tell him about how I am doing, I tell him that I hope he is also doing well on his new journey.
I tell him about my adventures, new things I'm doing around the condo like growing a succulent garden, making his old office into my new office, creating a reading corner in the bedroom.
I discuss my plans for upcoming vacations and travel I hope to soon begin.
I buy things for Gregory and put them on his shelf. For Christmas I bought him a bar of his favorite chocolate and some Walker's Short Bread Cookies. The chocolate is still there but I ate the cookies shortly after Christmas.
How is that any different than children putting out cookies for Santa Claus and their being pleased to see that the cookies were eaten when Santa delivered their presents?
How is that any different than when Mexican families put out the favorite foods and drinks on their DÃa de los Metros (Day of the Dead) offerenda (alter) celebrating the people they love who have died? Later the food and drink is shared with the living members of the dead one being celebrated.
On Gregory's shelf I have some favorite objects of his for example the "counting beads" made of beautifully polished natural seeds. A deck of cards sits there to remind him of how he loved to collect playing cards with unusual patterns on the covers.
Tonight as I was eating dinner at Johnny Rockets, hamburger and fries being my favorite meal, I imagined him enjoying the meal with me.
When I walk around the Botanic Garden of Chicago I share with him and remember his love of gardening and nature.
I talk about him to others least they not forget and so I do not forget that he is no longer with me. A couple of times I had dreams which on waking up caused me to forget that he has died. Those times are more painful then when I wake up knowing he is gone.
Tonight I bought him two pieces of Lady Godiva dark chocolate as an early Valentine's Day gift and put the bag of candy by his photo. I'll probably end up eating them before the holiday arrives but that will give me an excuse to buy him some more.
Every night after I finish reading, I put my book away, glance over at the photograph of Gregory on his shelf and wish him "Good Night!" Sometimes I imagine (or really do) hear him say, "I love you too, Michael. I love you more than ever!"
Moving Away From The Physical
In this meaningful passage, Karla talks about the relationship with the person who has died, as needing to move from a physical relationship to something different. The nature of the relationship changes but the relationship itself and love never dies.
The way we interact with the people and animals and things we love is predominantly physical. Everything we experience in this world we experience with our physical senses.
We see them with our eyes, hear them with our ears, speak to them with our voices knowing they hear us in return, we touch and hold them, we gesture and send messages with our physical bodies, we intimately know their scent, their touch, their presence in our lives in a physical way.
We exchange communication, love, nurturing, and sharing in physical, sensory ways ― touches, hugs, words, song, food, gifts, shared experiences, a sunset, a concert, a road trip, the first time our children say our names, roller coaster rides, intimate dinners, love notes, laughter, and when those ways of being in a relationship are gone, the adjustment is excruciatingly difficult and painful.
Figuring out how to have a relationship with someone who is not physically here, and never will be again, is incredibly difficult, yet we must because to not have the relationship is even more difficult.
While it is the case that death ends a physical life in a physical body, it does not end a relationship and it never ends love.
Taken from Yoga for Grief and Loss by Karla Helbert Pp 21-22
The way we interact with the people and animals and things we love is predominantly physical. Everything we experience in this world we experience with our physical senses.
We see them with our eyes, hear them with our ears, speak to them with our voices knowing they hear us in return, we touch and hold them, we gesture and send messages with our physical bodies, we intimately know their scent, their touch, their presence in our lives in a physical way.
We exchange communication, love, nurturing, and sharing in physical, sensory ways ― touches, hugs, words, song, food, gifts, shared experiences, a sunset, a concert, a road trip, the first time our children say our names, roller coaster rides, intimate dinners, love notes, laughter, and when those ways of being in a relationship are gone, the adjustment is excruciatingly difficult and painful.
Figuring out how to have a relationship with someone who is not physically here, and never will be again, is incredibly difficult, yet we must because to not have the relationship is even more difficult.
While it is the case that death ends a physical life in a physical body, it does not end a relationship and it never ends love.
Taken from Yoga for Grief and Loss by Karla Helbert Pp 21-22
Kindness and Grieving
KINDNESS
by Naomi Shihab Nye
Before you know kindness as the deepest thing inside,
you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing.
You must wake up with sorrow.
You must speak to it till your voice
catches the thread of all sorrows
and you see the size of the cloth.
you must know sorrow as the other deepest thing.
You must wake up with sorrow.
You must speak to it till your voice
catches the thread of all sorrows
and you see the size of the cloth.
Then it is only kindness that makes sense anymore,
only kindness that ties your shoes
and sends you out into the day to mail letters and
purchase bread,
only kindness that raises its head
from the crowd of the world to say
it is I you have been looking for,
and then goes with you every where
like a shadow or a friend.
only kindness that ties your shoes
and sends you out into the day to mail letters and
purchase bread,
only kindness that raises its head
from the crowd of the world to say
it is I you have been looking for,
and then goes with you every where
like a shadow or a friend.
Letter From A Student
Just came across this letter from a past student sent to me in October 2013. As a teacher I rarely received feedback from students partly because the year a teacher spends with a student flies quickly by and then both move on to other things. Also, I was the kind of teacher who "pushed the birds out of the nest when they were ready to fly and did not invite them back to visit!"
Reading this again made me feel good.
Mr. Horvich,
My wife took my children to the Chicago Children’s Museum this week, and mentioned to me that there was an exhibit donated by you, and thought the name of Michael Horvich might be familiar to me.
It certainly is, because I was a participant in the T*A*G program at Hoffman School (District 34) and took several classes with you in 1981-1984 (my 4th through 6th grade years).
I remember various projects, including writing and hand-making a children’s book (which I still have, and have read to my son), designing a marketing campaign for an everyday object (I chose a die), playing with Mobius strips, and reading books from the Narnia chronicles and drawing illustrations of Turkish Delight.
You melded learning, creativity, fun, and personal challenge into a package that I not only cherish, but have measured all learning experience throughout my academic and professional careers to those standards.
I also gained a combination of self-esteem, and a respect for the intelligence and creativity of others, that has become a core part of who I am today. Your influence led me on a path which included:
- Participation in an Oakton Community College Program where 6th graders take the SAT and are eligible for advanced classes
- Participation in the Worlds of Wisdom and Wonder through the Glenview-based Center For Gifted
- Algebra I and II and Geometry during my Junior High years, where I also learned how to self-motivate and prioritize my academicsAcceptance into the Glenbrook Academy of International Studies offered by the Glenbrook High Schools, despite my affinity for Math instead of Humanities
- Running out of Math classes at GBS, and having the head of the math department tutor me in Actuarial Mathematics
- Being the President and Captain of both our Math Team and Academic Bowl, which exercised my presentation skills as well as problem-solving
- Being a math tutor during High School, College, and throughout my adult life, including students who were accelerated and mentally challenged
- Receiving a degree in Actuarial Science from UIUC, even though I did NOT become an Actuary as a profession
- Utilizing all these skills in a technology-focused company where I have been a Senior Project Manager for 16 years
- Becoming a member of Mensa (“to see if I could do it”)
- Volunteering my time as an adult with the Center For Gifted co-teaching classes
- Raising two children who embrace learning, creativity, challenge, and fun as a single whole
- Becoming a life-long learner, intellectual, gamer, and mentor
So as I write this I hope you get a sense that in the series of dominoes that are life’s events, you were instrumental in pushing the right ones forward. I am fortunate enough to say you were not the only force in this direction, but you were an important and influential one, and I very much thank you for being in my life at the right time and being a key guidepost on my path to knowledge and fulfillment.
I am delighted to see how you have extended your career and have taken an interest in your blog. I wish you happiness and success in your various endeavors.
(And I can’t believe it’s been 30-or-so years!)
Feel free to correspond if you would like to share or want to know more.
Sincerely,
NB
Buffalo Grove, IL
Tuesday, January 26, 2016
A Miniature Museum Maire Memorial
Today celebrated the installation of a Tiny Treasure Memorial in (MM) Michael's Museum: A Curious Collection of Tiny Treasures, a permanent exhibit at (CCM) Chicago Children's Museum, located on Navy Pier on the lakefront, since May 2011.
When the team of museum staff who were involved in the original planning, execution, and installation of MM at CCM heard about Gregory's passing, they got together to think about how they might create a memorial to his memory.
They contacted me and along with their love and condolences, they suggested their plan. Needless to say, I was quite moved by their idea.
CCM obtained the collection in 2007 when it was moved into storage to wait until the recovery from the economic downturn of 2008 could take place. Planning for the permanent exhibit began in October of 2010 and MM opened to great fanfare on Friday, May 13th 2011.
During that time Gregory would join me at the museum while I attended meetings and he got to know CCM staff. As you would expect, he endeared himself to everyone he met there.
During the actual unpacking and installation, Gregory and other friends joined me at the museum to help. It gave Gregory great joy helping to unwrap each tiny treasure and he got much credit for and attention to his role in helping MM come to be in its new home at CCM.
Once the exhibit was open, I would "appear" as guest artist in residence to tell stories about the collection, interact with visitors to the museum, and talk about collecting. Gregory would join me and loved watching people, young and old, interact with the collections. His favorite, which he would point out to visitors, were the drawers filled with "stuff."
The Drawers Collection
Which Gregory loved to talk about
In the collection of collections, included were Gregory's 1) Marble Collection, 2) Circus Collection, 3) My One Cabinet (the joke being that I had 105 cabinets but he was only allowed one,) 4) and 40th Birthday Cake Topper Collection (featuring the items the Ames/Gurner family put on the cake they created for him.) All are pictured below.
Gregory's Marble Collection
The Circus Collection
(A gift to young Gregory from his parents
on their return from a trip to Germany)
Gregory's 40th Birthday Cake Toppers by the Ames/Gurner Family
Gregory's "My One Cabinet" before new additions
Gregory's Miniature Memorial at home before installation at MM@CCM
Gregory's Miniature Memorial installed in his "My One Cabinet."
A close-up of the installation in his cabinet.
I also placed his photograph in the "Curator's Collection" along with the new addition of a drawing made by our God Son Isaac when he was just a small lad!
Curator's Collection (Before new additions)
With new addition - G's photo on left middle - Isaac's drawing (with little people) on the right
Close-up of Gregory's photo in the Curator's Collection with a photo of his mom and dad and my mom and dad.
Even more close-up of Gregory's photo in the Curator's Collection
Close up of God Son Isaac's drawing now in Curator's Collection
Even more close-up of Isaac's drawing
Copy of my comments at the ceremony
People who attended the ceremony: Katie, Michele, Mark, Peter, Stephanie, Natalie, Jon, Amy, Jennifer, Jenny, Michael and Rick. Louise called in her regrets but was with us in spirit (as I am sure was Gregory.)
Afterwards, everyone joined (at Gregory and my treat) for lunch at DMK Burger and Fish Bar, a new restaurant on Navy Pier.
P.S. If you have been following the "Miracles," last night I woke up at 3:33 and then again at 5:55!
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