Finding Enlightenment

First, know that ENLIGHTENMENT is not something to achieve.
It is already there, living inside you, waiting to be discovered!
All you need to do is learn how to quiet the voices, past and present
that cause you to judge, to criticize, to evaluate ... others and yourself.

An actualized adult looks at beliefs and TRIAGES what they believe.
Some beliefs no longer are true for you, get rid of them, and forget them.
Some beliefs are still important to you, keep them and hold them with love.
Some beliefs you are not sure of, hold on to them, no pressure to decide.

It feels great to know that certain beliefs no longer are part of who you are.
But, careful, the triggers are still there and will bring back those beliefs.
Note those trigers, be aware of feelings, remind yourself of new choices.
Quiet yourself. Hear your own voices, not those of the past or of others.

Children believe what they are told by important people in our lives,
Parents, Grandparents, Priests, Teachers, Relatives, Neighbors, other adults.
Children we do not realize they have POWER, power to decide, to believe.
They accept what others tell us, by what we see, hear, read.

Other children: friends, and foes, also influence our beliefs and thoughts.
We like them and/or are bullied by them, we want to be liked by others.
We work to feel good, feel happy. We work to avoid feeling bad, unhappy.
Life is confusing; Children grow up without realizing they have power.

The purpose of childhood is to become INDEPENDENT of our parents.
To make our own life, our own decisions, our own happiness is our goal.
We also make our own misery, reinforcing our own poor self-image,
reinforcing our belief system which may or may not be still be true.

How do you QUIET yourself enough in today's busy, noisy world?
How do you take the constant barrage of contradictory pieces of information
and create an environment for at least a little piece of time in which you
can hear your own voices? Look at your own feelings and beliefs?

MEDITATE, is what you are told. What does that mean, how do I do that?
Meditation does not mean taking long periods of time out of your busy day.
It means taking a minute or two  and slowly building on how long.
If your goals are too ambitious you are setting yourself up for failure.

For a minute or two, maybe at the same time each day and same place,
concentrate on BREATHING. Breath in. It is good. Breath out. It is good.
Realize that everyone in the world is sharing this sacred moment with you.
As we all breath without much thinking we have a minute or two well spent!

Don't think you need to stop thinking! The mind is always thinking.
Focus on your breath, if your mind wanders, as it will, just make note
Bring it back to focus on your breathing. Don't linger on the thought.
Don't tell backstories just acknowledge it and refocus on your breathing.

Through meditation, you will find that slowly you will be able to relax.
You will be able to hear the voices deep within, the messages they bring,
not in the "mind wanderings" but in understandings that come after
the few minutes of meditation. Slowly build time, try to keep to the place.

You will find that EMOTIONS are not something to be controled,
but rather a barometer of your current life. Thank you emotions.
Sit quietly and ask what lessons your emotions have come to teach you.
Meditate and often the lessons will come automatically and easily.

Some lessons will not be easy. They will bring pain, discomfort, and tears.
Acknowlege them, you will feel better and be better at dealing with them.
Ask them to return later if you do not have time to spend with them, but do
invite them back. If you begin to solve them you will feel better about them!

Follow this advice, don't be hard on yourself, don't set high expectations.
Better low and met than high and punishing yourself. Meditate. Triage.
Say hello to your emotions and thank them. Ask what lessons they have.
Postpone if necessary but remember to invite them to return to visit later.

Enlightenment comes from deep within, it already exists within you.
Slow down, quiet down enough to listen, learn your lessons and to locate it!
You will be able to call up your new beliefs at will with more confidence.
The new thinking, the new understanding will serve you well.

The practice of catching a football during the middle of an important game,
with the ball coming at you, is not the best time to begin your practice.
Practice whenever and where ever you can. Practice often. Practice regularly.
Practice when under no pressure. Practice for a few moments a day.

You will find that when you have established a PRACTICE for yourself,
you will still drop the ball now and then but you will catch it more often
even when smack dab in the middle of the ongoing game called LIFE.
Your days will be filled with joy and love, self-confidence and growth!

Panchamaya Kosha Session Four

Interesting Yoga session today if only because earlier in the day my psychologist and I did a hypnosis session which was very much like a Yoga Nidra Mindful Meditation Session.

Then this evening, in quick summary, we breathed, stretched, focused, and meditated. A lot of attention to self and growth today!

In quick review, as the sessions have taken place we have moved from:
1) The Physical Body (using yoga movements) to
2) The Energy Body (using breath work) to
3) The Mental-Emotional Body (using the tool of sound/chant)  and this evening
4) The Wisdom Body (using the tool of meditation.)

This level of the Panchamaya Kosha deals with personality, character, and our beliefs about ourselves and the world around us. We alternated breath work with stretching work with meditation and cycled through these several times before doing the final Yoga Nidra rest.

During the Yoga Nidra meditation, when dealing with beliefs, my "voices" gave me the concept of "Acceptable Grief."

When in deep meditation, most times my mind quiets enough for me to be able to get in touch with deeper thoughts and ideas.

They present themselves in "understandings" or "images" rather than words or text. I refer to these as "my voices."

Then in these BLOG posts, I have to try to interpret what I "felt" into what I "thought."

Acceptable Grief.

grief |grēf| noundeep sorrow, esp. that caused by someone's death: she was overcome with grief. To this definition, I would add a great sense of loss. 

Obviously my concept of Acceptable Grief applies to the path that Gregory has been traveling with Alzheimer's Disease and on which I have chosen to accompany him. We both have been through so much over the last ten years and such quick change over the last four and a half months.

I find that while I still grieve for the loss of my lover, best friend, soul mate, and life companion, I am at peace with our current situation. He is being well taken care of at Lieberman, I am continuing to revitalize my life, and we both are doing well. 

When I am with Gregory I am able to be in the "Here and Now" as he is. Mine by choice, his by circumstances. I try not to think about our past or our future when I am with him.

When I am home I try to be in the "Here and Now" as well and I try not to think about  our past or Gregory in is situation.

For the most part, Gregory is comfortable, content, and happy. For the most part, I am filled with joy, happiness, and contentment.

But the Grief is always with me and now and then surfaces. When it does I pay it attention, cry if I need to, and in some ways embrace it. The concept of Grief not only includes the sorrow but also the joy in Gregory's and my situation. We are both in a good place. I would not have chosen it this way, but none-the-less, we are both in a good place. And that is acceptable. Thus, Acceptable Grief.