Gregory's brother Mark and sister-in-law Diane had a black cat. A huge, affectionate black cat. Gregory helped name it: "Night Maire." Everyone loved the name and the play on words. Yes, Nightmaire, Nightmare.
Last night before I fell asleep, I asked Gregory (if he could) to visit me in my dreams. And he was able to meet my request. But I didn't deal with it well. So next time I will specify: "In calm and peace, please."
The first part of his visit included snuggling in bed "spoons style" his arm draped over my back. Waking suddenly, it scared the crap out of me experiencing someone in bed (besides the cats and with another person (Gregory) after almost three years.) I woke with a start and that disconnected the connection.
Based on that first visit, Gregory attempted another. The dream became convoluted and circular, my not being able to tell dream from reality.
I wanted to call out to Gregory and was so sad fearing that I could no longer do so, that I called out to Gregory in the other room telling him, "Please come here, I am frightened and I need to talk to you."
Then I realized that I could no longer physically talk to him so I became frightened and called out to him again, which woke me up.
Now awake, he didn't answer so I called out again. Then I realized that my fear was founded and I could never again call out to him and get a physical response.
So I cried and ached and missed him until my throat hurt and it was difficult to breathe.
Slowly I realized that Gregory was only trying to fulfill my request but I handled it poorly. So next time, "In calm and in peace," I hope to do better!
Showing posts with label Visit. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Visit. Show all posts
Monday, July 2, 2018
Friday, March 4, 2016
A Visit With Gregory
Dreamed a visit with Gregory three nights ago and the strength of the dream is still with me. Now I am trying to use words to describe what was a picture, an impression, a fleeting image in my mind.
Gregory was restored to his prime: good looking as always, healthy, happy, verbal, mobile.
I was someplace I never have been before, I know not where. In some ways the dream could have been designed by a theatrical set company. The dream takes place in what felt like a quaint European village type town, pristine and clean, yet old and worn at the same time. And ALL colored in shades of off-white.
The narrow cobble stone street, winds up and to the right between what appear to be two and three storied buildings, some at unusual angles but there are also wide open spaces. On the walls, billowing draperies in shades of off-white and of various textures, suspended artistically at various angles and heights, wave gently in the breeze.
Also, on the walls lining the street are doors and windows with closed curtains. Hanging here and there on the walls are smaller cabinets with shelves holding collections of things. Open stands, constructed of weathered wood, display various types of objects. All off-white in color.
What the sky looks like is not apparent, maybe it isn't even the sky, but the light is pleasing and soft. Here and there along the street and in larger open spaces, are furniture groupings in interesting arrangement: tables, chairs, sofas, lamps. All off-white.
While the general impression is that I am on a street lined with buildings it also could feel like a large indoor living space. There is a lot of activity and people are going about their business although what their business is ― is not apparent. They are all wearing clothing in shades of off-white
Music of a non-descript nature, but probably classical and probably piano, is filling the area but not in an overpowering, obtrusive, or even obviously noticeable way.
Some people are arranging, preparing, placing ― seemingly getting ready for some kind of event but I cannot tell. Some people are just hanging out. Maybe they are going about their usual daily activities or maybe they were getting ready for a big party.
It isn't that the people are not noticing me but there is no interaction between us. Gregory and I are moving from place to place and he is supervising but I am not sure what it is that he is supervising.
I ask many questions. He patiently answers all my questions but with a "Wait, you will understand eventually!" attitude and not much explanatory detail.
I do not recognize any of the people. I cannot tell if the people I see live there, work there, or are there for the special event. Are they street performers? Are they vendors? Are they part of Gregory's life, like family and friends. Or has he asked them to help with the event; like caterers or servers and bartenders? Are they the guests mingled with performers, street people, and helpers? Or are they all part of a community who live there?
So many questions and I wake up with no more answers but only an impression that Gregory was showing me around his "new digs." It did feel peaceful, unhurried, but purposeful. Why was everything and everyone in shades of off-white? There was no color although I seem to remember that people's faces were skin toned. Was this possibly the new plain on which Gregory exists? Was it heaven?
Maybe I'll dream myself there again some day to find out more.
Gregory was restored to his prime: good looking as always, healthy, happy, verbal, mobile.
I was someplace I never have been before, I know not where. In some ways the dream could have been designed by a theatrical set company. The dream takes place in what felt like a quaint European village type town, pristine and clean, yet old and worn at the same time. And ALL colored in shades of off-white.
The narrow cobble stone street, winds up and to the right between what appear to be two and three storied buildings, some at unusual angles but there are also wide open spaces. On the walls, billowing draperies in shades of off-white and of various textures, suspended artistically at various angles and heights, wave gently in the breeze.
Also, on the walls lining the street are doors and windows with closed curtains. Hanging here and there on the walls are smaller cabinets with shelves holding collections of things. Open stands, constructed of weathered wood, display various types of objects. All off-white in color.
What the sky looks like is not apparent, maybe it isn't even the sky, but the light is pleasing and soft. Here and there along the street and in larger open spaces, are furniture groupings in interesting arrangement: tables, chairs, sofas, lamps. All off-white.
While the general impression is that I am on a street lined with buildings it also could feel like a large indoor living space. There is a lot of activity and people are going about their business although what their business is ― is not apparent. They are all wearing clothing in shades of off-white
Music of a non-descript nature, but probably classical and probably piano, is filling the area but not in an overpowering, obtrusive, or even obviously noticeable way.
Some people are arranging, preparing, placing ― seemingly getting ready for some kind of event but I cannot tell. Some people are just hanging out. Maybe they are going about their usual daily activities or maybe they were getting ready for a big party.
It isn't that the people are not noticing me but there is no interaction between us. Gregory and I are moving from place to place and he is supervising but I am not sure what it is that he is supervising.
I ask many questions. He patiently answers all my questions but with a "Wait, you will understand eventually!" attitude and not much explanatory detail.
I do not recognize any of the people. I cannot tell if the people I see live there, work there, or are there for the special event. Are they street performers? Are they vendors? Are they part of Gregory's life, like family and friends. Or has he asked them to help with the event; like caterers or servers and bartenders? Are they the guests mingled with performers, street people, and helpers? Or are they all part of a community who live there?
So many questions and I wake up with no more answers but only an impression that Gregory was showing me around his "new digs." It did feel peaceful, unhurried, but purposeful. Why was everything and everyone in shades of off-white? There was no color although I seem to remember that people's faces were skin toned. Was this possibly the new plain on which Gregory exists? Was it heaven?
Maybe I'll dream myself there again some day to find out more.
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