For me, today was filled with Christmas Spirit. After finishing up some chores at home, I set out on a few last minute errands. I have a cold but needed to get out for a little while.
First, cookies from TAG's bakery in Evanston for several get-togethers in the next few days and one after the January 1st.
Next, a stop to give out a few presents and while there, to sample some homemade stew.
Then, a visit to Whole Foods for tonight's dinner from the "hot table," a few groceries, a mini bunch of flowers for Gregory's shrine, cranberry walnut bread for tomorrow morning's breakfast, and chestnuts to roast on an open fire (so the song says but in a condo toasting, steaming, or microwaving is just as good.)
Finally, Walgreens to stock up on candy canes and chocolate covered cherries.
On the way home, driving down Green Bay Road, as I am pulling away from being stopped at a red light, I notice that there is a person on the sidewalk leaning against the wall under the viaduct at Simpson and Green Bay.
As I begin to pull away my "voices" asked me, "How can you just ignore that?"
"Maybe I can go around the block, but what can I really do if the person is in distress?" I answer. "Do I really want to get involved?" "Yes," I answer myself to my voices. So I pull over and carefully compose what I am going to say as I dial Emergency 911.
"Evanston 911. Where is the emergency?" comes the initial response.
"A person is down on the sidewalk, under the viaduct at Simpson and Green Bay. I cannot tell if they are in trouble or drunk."
"We will send someone out right away to see what we can do."
"Thank you for being there and Merry Christmas," I say as I end the call.
I felt good about my quick turn around from "I don't want and/or am afraid to get involved" to doing something creative to help. Lesson learned is that you don't have to be afraid that you cannot help, but at least if you do something, there will always be others to help you help.
Showing posts with label Voices. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Voices. Show all posts
Monday, December 24, 2018
Saturday, June 14, 2014
Panchamaya Kosha Session Six (Final One)
In overly simplified terms, the overriding concepts in Buddhism are that everything is nothing and nothing is everything. Everything is real and there is no one reality. We are all the same and we are all different. Therefore you are me and I am you. Perhaps one could say that Buddhism is the study of dichotomies.
I do not see Buddhism as an organized religion but rather a gathering of beliefs and techniques and teachings shared by a great prophet. How I approach them or use them is up to me to decide for myself. Some make sense others do not. Some I find comfortable to life others I do not.
Slowly, as I have learned mindful meditation, as I have picked up Yoga techniques, as I have become more familiar with Buddhist thought, as I have studied and read, I believe I have begun to not only learn about it but to experience "IT." You cannot really just learn about about it, you must directly experience it, and that is a very individual experience. That is what I call "IT."
For me, I can organize the "IT" into three concepts: 1) the essential self, 2) life as suffering, 3) joy as a choice.
Briefly, at all times we are able to be in touch with our essential self, that self which was there before all the "interference" of growing up, school, church, family, friends, relationships, society, life.
At times we can almost reach out and touch that essential self again if only but for a moment. Buddhism has taught me to look at life differently and therefore my belief systems have changed.
Everything is always changing and what causes us to suffer is our desperately try to hold on to life, to truth, to a moment, to make sense out of non-sense. We cannot hold on, we can only be in the moment. This is not easy as the fraction of a second in which we think about being in the moment we have lost that moment.
Being able to embrase this, I have found some relief from suffering through meditation and yoga and my studies of Buddhism, as I once again am able to "quiet the voices my head" and regain contact more often with my essential self, the pure essence of what I am and have always been.
I can choose joy because the suffering is really only me trying to hold onto something that is constantly changing, in a moment I am a different person than I was a moment earlier. In a moment the things I know and believe will be changed, those I love dearly will be gone, and then I will be gone.
If you are able to notice your quiet, inside thinking during the day, you will see that the mind is ALWAYS actively engaged in a dialog with yourself (actually a monologue.)
You are making decisions, making observations, making judgements, arguing, chatting etc with yourself, quietly, internally. You may notice that sometimes you even do this in a whisper and sometimes out loud.
By focusing ones attention on the breath, on the breath with added stretches, on the breath with stretches and added chanting; one can calm the mind and become more in touch with the emptiness or calmness that occurs when most of the "chatter" of the mind is turned off.
I know that to many of you this will sound like a lot of "gobble-do-gook," like "religious fanatism," like "hippi-dippi-do stuff." The true sign of UN-ENLIGHTENMENT is when someone talks about being enlightened.
I believe that for most of us enlightenment is something we are always moving just a little bit closer to, without ever arriving. I am just saying that for me Buddhism has been working.
It has given me peace and joy in my life and made my suffering more tolerable. No other religion I have studied, not Judaism into which I was born and whose traditions and sense of family I love, and no "understanding" of God has given me this much sought after sense of joy and peace.
I share my thoughts here for two reasons, not to boast or to say "I know the way, but rather: 1) I find that by documenting my life I am also processing my experiences, and 2) maybe it will speak to you in what every way you want to comfortably accept it, pursue it, use it.
Through the last five sessions of Panchamays Kosha Yoga, I have learned many valuable physical ways of clearing my mind so I can come closer in touch with my essential self more often: meditation, stretching, mindful breathing, chanting, and probably a few more techniques that I have either forgotten or internalized have helped me on this path.
The final session in this series of classes and consisted of a "putting together" of all of our experiences from the previous sessions. Probably the most important new part of this final class for me was learning about the Hamsa or Soham Mantra.
In some ways I find the concept MAGICAL! Simply speaking, it is a built in system that every living being is practicing 24/7. The difference is becoming aware of it.
I do not see Buddhism as an organized religion but rather a gathering of beliefs and techniques and teachings shared by a great prophet. How I approach them or use them is up to me to decide for myself. Some make sense others do not. Some I find comfortable to life others I do not.
Slowly, as I have learned mindful meditation, as I have picked up Yoga techniques, as I have become more familiar with Buddhist thought, as I have studied and read, I believe I have begun to not only learn about it but to experience "IT." You cannot really just learn about about it, you must directly experience it, and that is a very individual experience. That is what I call "IT."
For me, I can organize the "IT" into three concepts: 1) the essential self, 2) life as suffering, 3) joy as a choice.
Briefly, at all times we are able to be in touch with our essential self, that self which was there before all the "interference" of growing up, school, church, family, friends, relationships, society, life.
At times we can almost reach out and touch that essential self again if only but for a moment. Buddhism has taught me to look at life differently and therefore my belief systems have changed.
Everything is always changing and what causes us to suffer is our desperately try to hold on to life, to truth, to a moment, to make sense out of non-sense. We cannot hold on, we can only be in the moment. This is not easy as the fraction of a second in which we think about being in the moment we have lost that moment.
Being able to embrase this, I have found some relief from suffering through meditation and yoga and my studies of Buddhism, as I once again am able to "quiet the voices my head" and regain contact more often with my essential self, the pure essence of what I am and have always been.
I can choose joy because the suffering is really only me trying to hold onto something that is constantly changing, in a moment I am a different person than I was a moment earlier. In a moment the things I know and believe will be changed, those I love dearly will be gone, and then I will be gone.
If you are able to notice your quiet, inside thinking during the day, you will see that the mind is ALWAYS actively engaged in a dialog with yourself (actually a monologue.)
You are making decisions, making observations, making judgements, arguing, chatting etc with yourself, quietly, internally. You may notice that sometimes you even do this in a whisper and sometimes out loud.
By focusing ones attention on the breath, on the breath with added stretches, on the breath with stretches and added chanting; one can calm the mind and become more in touch with the emptiness or calmness that occurs when most of the "chatter" of the mind is turned off.
I know that to many of you this will sound like a lot of "gobble-do-gook," like "religious fanatism," like "hippi-dippi-do stuff." The true sign of UN-ENLIGHTENMENT is when someone talks about being enlightened.
I believe that for most of us enlightenment is something we are always moving just a little bit closer to, without ever arriving. I am just saying that for me Buddhism has been working.
It has given me peace and joy in my life and made my suffering more tolerable. No other religion I have studied, not Judaism into which I was born and whose traditions and sense of family I love, and no "understanding" of God has given me this much sought after sense of joy and peace.
I share my thoughts here for two reasons, not to boast or to say "I know the way, but rather: 1) I find that by documenting my life I am also processing my experiences, and 2) maybe it will speak to you in what every way you want to comfortably accept it, pursue it, use it.
• • •
Through the last five sessions of Panchamays Kosha Yoga, I have learned many valuable physical ways of clearing my mind so I can come closer in touch with my essential self more often: meditation, stretching, mindful breathing, chanting, and probably a few more techniques that I have either forgotten or internalized have helped me on this path.
The final session in this series of classes and consisted of a "putting together" of all of our experiences from the previous sessions. Probably the most important new part of this final class for me was learning about the Hamsa or Soham Mantra.
In some ways I find the concept MAGICAL! Simply speaking, it is a built in system that every living being is practicing 24/7. The difference is becoming aware of it.
| Hamsa Mantra - a simple breath practice from: http://www.yinyoga.com/ys2_2.2.7.3.1_hamsa_mantra.php |
| On average, twenty-one thousand, six hundred times a day we chant the mantra Hamsa. "Ha" is the sound of the breath on our exhalations and "sa" is the sound of the inhalations. Some traditions reverse this, and the mantra is called "So'ham" - we hear "hmmm" on the inhalation and a sighing "sa" on the exhalation. Iyengar says they are actually combined; every creature creates so'ham on the inhalation (which means "He am I") and hamsa on the exhalation (which means "I am He"). This is called the "ajapamantra." While we chant this barely audible mantra with each breath, we can feel energy moving within us. Close your eyes and notice the way your energy state is altered while you inhale and exhale. Experiment with hearing "ham" on the inhalation and "sa" on the exhalation. Does this feel energizing or calming for you? Next reverse it: hear "sa" on the inhalation and "ham" on the exhalation. Does this change the energetic feelings? Many teachers will claim that hamsa is energizing and so'ham is relaxing. They teach that when we hear so'ham, prana is descending. On hearing hamsa, shakti (energy) rises. Other teachers claim the exact opposite. Of course, we are all different; half of us are natural belly breathers, half are chest breathers. It is not surprising that everyone doesn't respond the same way. You will need to experiment and find out which form of hamsa breathing energizes you, and which form calms you. Once you know, then you are ready to employ this tool in your practice. Preparing for a Yin Yoga class, you may want to use the calming breath. Preparing for a yang practice, you may want to use an energizing breath. Of course, hamsa breathing can be used outside of your yoga practice too. We all have times in life when we are too stoked up and need to relax. The hamsa breath can be useful then. At other times, we need a quick boost of energy, and the opposite breath may be ideal. Instead of reaching, automatically, for that cigarette to calm you down, or that third cup of coffee or a cola to give you a pick-me-up, try working with the breath for a minute or two. You may be surprised at how effective it is, and it is a lot healthier. Thank you Corinne Peterson (http://www.corinnepeterson.com) for helping me on this path. It has been the first time in my life that I have found peace in a spiritual belief system. My "Search for God" series of writing and thinking and processing has brought me to this place where God per say is not the important thing to determine, but rather your relationship to yourself, your environment, your fellow beings, to everything living! |
Friday, May 30, 2014
Panchamaya Kosha Session Four
Interesting Yoga session today if only because earlier in the day my psychologist and I did a hypnosis session which was very much like a Yoga Nidra Mindful Meditation Session.
Then this evening, in quick summary, we breathed, stretched, focused, and meditated. A lot of attention to self and growth today!
In quick review, as the sessions have taken place we have moved from:
1) The Physical Body (using yoga movements) to
2) The Energy Body (using breath work) to
3) The Mental-Emotional Body (using the tool of sound/chant) and this evening
4) The Wisdom Body (using the tool of meditation.)
This level of the Panchamaya Kosha deals with personality, character, and our beliefs about ourselves and the world around us. We alternated breath work with stretching work with meditation and cycled through these several times before doing the final Yoga Nidra rest.
During the Yoga Nidra meditation, when dealing with beliefs, my "voices" gave me the concept of "Acceptable Grief."
When in deep meditation, most times my mind quiets enough for me to be able to get in touch with deeper thoughts and ideas.
They present themselves in "understandings" or "images" rather than words or text. I refer to these as "my voices."
Then in these BLOG posts, I have to try to interpret what I "felt" into what I "thought."
Acceptable Grief.
grief |grēf| noundeep sorrow, esp. that caused by someone's death: she was overcome with grief. To this definition, I would add a great sense of loss.
Obviously my concept of Acceptable Grief applies to the path that Gregory has been traveling with Alzheimer's Disease and on which I have chosen to accompany him. We both have been through so much over the last ten years and such quick change over the last four and a half months.
I find that while I still grieve for the loss of my lover, best friend, soul mate, and life companion, I am at peace with our current situation. He is being well taken care of at Lieberman, I am continuing to revitalize my life, and we both are doing well.
When I am with Gregory I am able to be in the "Here and Now" as he is. Mine by choice, his by circumstances. I try not to think about our past or our future when I am with him.
When I am home I try to be in the "Here and Now" as well and I try not to think about our past or Gregory in is situation.
For the most part, Gregory is comfortable, content, and happy. For the most part, I am filled with joy, happiness, and contentment.
But the Grief is always with me and now and then surfaces. When it does I pay it attention, cry if I need to, and in some ways embrace it. The concept of Grief not only includes the sorrow but also the joy in Gregory's and my situation. We are both in a good place. I would not have chosen it this way, but none-the-less, we are both in a good place. And that is acceptable. Thus, Acceptable Grief.
Then this evening, in quick summary, we breathed, stretched, focused, and meditated. A lot of attention to self and growth today!
In quick review, as the sessions have taken place we have moved from:
1) The Physical Body (using yoga movements) to
2) The Energy Body (using breath work) to
3) The Mental-Emotional Body (using the tool of sound/chant) and this evening
4) The Wisdom Body (using the tool of meditation.)
This level of the Panchamaya Kosha deals with personality, character, and our beliefs about ourselves and the world around us. We alternated breath work with stretching work with meditation and cycled through these several times before doing the final Yoga Nidra rest.
During the Yoga Nidra meditation, when dealing with beliefs, my "voices" gave me the concept of "Acceptable Grief."
When in deep meditation, most times my mind quiets enough for me to be able to get in touch with deeper thoughts and ideas.
They present themselves in "understandings" or "images" rather than words or text. I refer to these as "my voices."
Then in these BLOG posts, I have to try to interpret what I "felt" into what I "thought."
Acceptable Grief.
grief |grēf| noundeep sorrow, esp. that caused by someone's death: she was overcome with grief. To this definition, I would add a great sense of loss.
Obviously my concept of Acceptable Grief applies to the path that Gregory has been traveling with Alzheimer's Disease and on which I have chosen to accompany him. We both have been through so much over the last ten years and such quick change over the last four and a half months.
I find that while I still grieve for the loss of my lover, best friend, soul mate, and life companion, I am at peace with our current situation. He is being well taken care of at Lieberman, I am continuing to revitalize my life, and we both are doing well.
When I am with Gregory I am able to be in the "Here and Now" as he is. Mine by choice, his by circumstances. I try not to think about our past or our future when I am with him.
When I am home I try to be in the "Here and Now" as well and I try not to think about our past or Gregory in is situation.
For the most part, Gregory is comfortable, content, and happy. For the most part, I am filled with joy, happiness, and contentment.
But the Grief is always with me and now and then surfaces. When it does I pay it attention, cry if I need to, and in some ways embrace it. The concept of Grief not only includes the sorrow but also the joy in Gregory's and my situation. We are both in a good place. I would not have chosen it this way, but none-the-less, we are both in a good place. And that is acceptable. Thus, Acceptable Grief.
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