Fiction: Seeing Fit to Shop for Antiques

One of my hobbies is "collecting" and that is often best done at antique malls. Based on my long history of antiquing and collecting, I can tell if an antique mall will be worth the time, merely by looking in the windows or through the front door.

After that cursory evaluation, entering the shop and the potential success of the visit is confirmed based on the overall smell of the antiques, the visible number of dealers, and whether there is a balance between treasures being locked up in glass-front cabinets or freely displayed on shelves.

I have a technique for perusing such malls. Usually, I go clockwise in a room by running the first aisle, looking only at the booths on the left, and then returning down the same aisle visiting those on the right. Then I move clockwise to the second aisle and so on.

It is easy if the aisles back up to each other but sometimes it gets complicated if the cross aisles have booths on the cross-aisle itself. I make those decisions as necessary. Another logistics problem is when another room branches off the main one in no particular order. One can get disoriented in finding one's way back to the main room of the mall without having to visit any one booth more than once as well as making sure to not miss anything.

I can tell from standing in the aisle whether it will be worthwhile entering the booth itself. I stand at the head of the booth and scan the contents. If things catch my eye, I enter and spend some time looking around. If the items in the booth are mostly those which do not interest me, I do not even enter and move to the next booth.

If all of the items are locked up in neatly arranged in glass-front cabinets, I usually avoid that booth. I hate not being able to touch the items, especially if I am interested in them. It is a pain to have to call an employee over, tell them what you want to see, they go back to the front to get the cabinet keys, they return to unlock the cabinet. The rule of thumb is that you tell them what you want to look at and they get it out of the cabinet. Shoppers are not allowed to reach into the cabinet for fear of clumsily starting an avalanche.

If the booth is so loaded that it looks like it will be easy to knock things over or fall over myself, I avoid it. If the booth is already occupied by another shopper, I hold back. If it is being spruced up by the owner, I keep going as I do not like confrontation or after a lovely exchange feeling obligated to make a purchase.

On one Antique Mall adventure, the one over by the river which consists of "over 40 dealers," I came across a box of glass eyes somewhere in the middle of the shop. As I picked up the box, I assumed that they were for animal taxidermy purposes but on closer examination, I realized that they were replacement eyes, glass eyes, for people who had lost an eye and after medical examination would be fitted with an eye that they could "pop" into their empty eye socket so they would look more socially acceptable to others (and maybe to themselves.)

This particular booth was on the left middle of the third aisle. As I was coming back down the aisle, visiting the right booths, I notice an older man in the glass eye booth holding the box of glass eyes that I had just looked at. He was studying the box intently. Then he held it close to his face, mumbling to himself as he looked.

He put the box back on the shelf and proceed to touch each eye. There were large ones and smaller ones; brown, blue, green, and various shades in between. It was almost like he was having a conversation or a love affair with the box of glass eyes.

I continued my journey up and down the aisles, left and right, a brief stop at a cross-aisle booth then back to the up, down, left, and right. I found a few items to purchase and headed to the checkout counter towards the front of the mall. I paid for my items. They wrapped them carefully and handed me a small shopping bag with my purchased contents.

As I turned to go, I realized that the man I had observed earlier was behind me ready to make his purchase. Sure enough, he had the box of glass eyes, lid firmly in place, under his arm. What I had failed to notice the first time is that in his right hand he clutched a white cane. I will leave the rest to your imagination as it has been in mine.

Shopping and Carry Out Safety

Shopping With COVID 19

STORIES FOR THE TIMES:

I arrived at the Trader Joe's near my condo at 8:45. The Internet said, "Open at 8:00." The sign in the window said, "Open at 9:00." A lot of grocery stores, which open for the first hour for seniors only, have delayed opening the doors by an hour ahead so they can get fully stocked and workers in place.

To my amazement, there was a line forming at the door, most people with their cart at the ready, six feet from each other. Instead of being grouped around the door ready to push their way in to the toilet paper aisle, this queue formed at the door and proceeded to parallel the building then double over into the parking lot.

"Very civil," I thought to myself. There must have been twenty people waiting to get in, quietly waiting, six feet +/- apart. As people walked by to get to the end of the line, they even made sure not to come too close to the people in line ahead of them.

There was a clerk at the door who welcomed in the first three patrons who were greeted by another clerk, wearing rubber gloves, with a wipe for the cart and a bottle of hand sanitizer to spray your hands. Both were cheery, smiling, welcoming. Again, "Very civil!"

After the first dozen and a half were allowed in, sanitized, and had begun their shopping the "guard" let more of us into the store as the flowers and produce area at the entrance cleared with shoppers moving deeper into the store.

The shopping experience was interesting. No carts to avoid. No children. No waiting for someone to move out of your way so you could reach a cucumber. As people walked by throughout the store, they kept their distance. Very pleasant and smiling but not closer than 6 feet. If an aisle began to get backed up, the shoppers automatically held back until they could enter and keep their distance.

The shelves were well-stocked and orderly. From what I could tell, hand sanitizer was the only missing item. I purchased one six-pack of toilet paper silently saying a prayer of thanks to the White Porcelain Goddess." I also put four boxes of Kleene into my cart.

There was a full staff of checkers and baggers. They did not cut back on the number of employees just because the store was not packed like it usually was pre-COVID 19. In many ways the experience was surreal as well as enjoyable but also pointed out "HEY PEOPLE THIS IS REAL! BE SAFE, BUT BE CONCERNED! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!"

When I arrived home by 9:45, the city parking garage (also home to the condo parking) which is usually filled to capacity was frighteningly empty. "This is not a drill" as I thought, "How civil!"

My Adventures with Pat

Saturday Adventure with Pat Anderson (on a brief visit from Portland, OR:) Lunch at Sand Bar Grill in Twin Lakes, WI before trip to Ginger Blossom (ethnic and traditional crafts, rugs, furniture, sweaters, antiques and more from all over the world) in Richmond, Il.

Saturday Adventure with Pat Anderson (on a brief visit from Portland, OR:) After lunch at Sand Bar, in Twin Lakes, WI, shopping at Ginger Blossom (ethnic and traditional crafts, rugs, furniture, sweaters, antiques and more from all over the world) in Richmond, Il. Ginger Blossom is on her farm and the items for sale are located in many small outbuildings, the main barn, on the grounds, and the checkout/office has its own building. Fun adventure.

Saturday Adventure with Pat Anderson (on a brief visit from Portland, OR:) After strenuous shopping at Ginger Blossom, a refreshing stop on the way home, to a place often visited in my youth (1950's and 1960'S although this particular one is since 1963!) a Dog and Suds for an A&W Rootbeer in a frosted glass mug!

Sunday adventure with Pat Anderson (on a brief visit from Portland, OR:) An evening at the Chicago Magic Lounge on Clark Street. 

Apparently, as we learned, close up magic was invented in Chicago, there used to be many restaurants and bars which featured magic, eventually, all disappeared, and now a newly opened club features several levels of magic.

Once you find your way into the Magic Lounge through a laundromat, have a drink at the magic bar and be entertained with close-magic (and just a little schtick) by a world-class magician! Buy a ticket to a nightly performance in the Harry Blackstone Theater to see magic, have a drink, and have dinner. See a late-night show and another drink in the 654 Club. Be sure to spend some time in the library and to visit the bathrooms.

The entrance appears to be a laundromat. 

See if you can find the doorknob that will get you into the lounge. If you cannot find the doorknob, look for the bell or the phone which will get you help.

Relax in the library/gift shop. All of the books deal with magic and many are antiques, collectibles, rare.

Even the bathrooms are magical!

I stayed with Sparkling Rose. Yumm.

First stop is to wait in the bar before being seated in the theater. You can just come here for the price of a drink and watch close up magic at the bar.

The Blackstone Theater features a full show featuring different magicians each night. You can continue to drink and the menu features delicious light foods. At the beginning of the show, the MC talks about the history of magic in Chicago.

Pat and I had front row, ringside seats.

While waiting for the show, half a dozen magicians circulate providing table side magic is featured.

After the main show, VIP ticket holders attend another show in the New York Lounge which features "new comers" to magic but who are still stellar!

 The entire evening was magical. They are well organized, move people from place to place with ease, table and bar service is friendly and efficient, food is unique and delicious. It felt to me like being at an Adult Disneyland!