Today is Gregory and my 41st anniversary. Last night, before bedtime, I had a chat with him and reflected how strongly my love for him continues and how I will continue to live my life in a way that reflects and honors our love for each other.
It is said, "Until death do you part!" but that is not really true. If a love is real, it lasts forever, so even in death Gregory and my love for each other is paramount to me and, wherever his spirit may reside, I believe for him as well.
As I drifted off, I thought "Wouldn't it be nice if I could receive a 'visit' or 'sign" from Gregory in honor of our anniversary." My current thinking is that if one believes in something then it is true. So if I believe he hears me, and that I hear him, and that he watches over me, and that we are still together in my heart and in my soul, then it is true!
As I often do, I need to digress here. I promise I will return to the point of this post.
During the night, I often get up to pee. Sometimes I am awakened up by the cats roaming around so I tell them "Stobbit" (stop it) and they do. Sometimes my hip will hurt from lying on one side and the pain will wake me so I get up to stretch.
As a habit, when I am up during the night, I press the button on top of my clock to light up the time. I have taken to accepting unique times as a wink or nod or "hello" from Gregory. For example, our favorite time has always been 11:11, AM or PM. Times like 1:23 or 3:21 are fun. I really love 12:34 or 2:34, 3:45, 5:55 etc.
These unique number combinations do not occur that often but when they do, I smile and tell Gregory "I love you too!"
A further digression. I have written about the #3 as my lucky number and an important one in my life. Read about it here: http://mhorvich.blogspot.com/2016/01/three-3.html (Opens in a new window so you won't get lost.)
Now back to the point of this post. Last night for the first time I can ever remember and certainly for the first time since Gregory's death; I awoke, looked at the clock, and the time was: "3:33 AM." The answer to my having asked for a "sign." Not only a unique repetition of numbers but using my favorite one!
Wow, I considered that another Gregory Miracle! On our anniversary it was a very important wink, nod, reminder of our love. It has helped me feel cheerful today instead of sad. I am happy to be celebrating our 41st anniversary with loving memories of the wonderful time we had together.
Also, I celebrate Gregory's death and his "finding his way out," as he used to say, while I get to stick around for a while looking for mine. So far today I have not felt the need to grieve!
Showing posts with label Three. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Three. Show all posts
Sunday, January 10, 2016
Three (3)
When I was still teaching, some 40 years ago, I had my ear pierced. I did it during the summer because when you have a new piercing, you cannot take the earring out for a month.
I wanted to wear an earring but in those days, my career as a teacher caused me to have to be careful about any kind of behavior that would label me as some kind of subversive. It could cost me my job!
At that time, earrings on a man was a newer phenomenon and was suspect. It probably meant he was Gay. If he wasn't Gay then he was a hippy, or lived some kind of alternative life style or smoked pot and therefore was suspect none-the-less.
Supposedly if the left ear was pierced it meant he was the active sexual partner (the pitcher,) and if the right ear was pierced it meant he was the passive sexual partner (the catcher.)
Fast forward to my 50th birthday. By then I had retired from teaching, was wearing my earring all the time. I wanted a second one in the same ear. The first "hole" was high on the ear (done so the "hole" would not be apparent to students and other teachers in the classroom while I was not wearing the earring in school.)
I chose to have the second one in the regular location of the ear lobe. While I was happy with two earrings, it caused a controversy. Was there to much space between the two earrings or was it OK.
I asked a number of friends what they thought and the votes were evenly distributed. Some thought it looked just right and others thought they were too far apart. That raised the question, was two earrings enough or should I have a third piercing in between the two existing "holes?"
I hesitated and just couldn't decide, two or three? 2 or 3? II or III? What to do, what to do. Looking back, I am not sure why it was such a difficult decision but for some reason it was.
Now I need to digress in the story. I had been to New Orleans a number of times and really love the city. Once I went with Gregory but most often I went alone, on those "solitary vacations" that he and I used to take. We vacationed together often but now and then ventured off solo. New York, San Francisco, Mexico, New Orleans.
While in New Orleans one year, I went into a Voodoo shop and decided to have my "fortune" told for $20.00. The psychic's name was Ilene and for the most part her comments were very accurate.
I didn't tell her anything but she seemed to know a lot about me. I was a teacher, a writer, had a male lover, etc. Her description of what was important to me in life was accurate. And her predictions for the future seemed within reason.
Over the next several years, when in New Orleans, I would visit Ilene, we became friends of sorts, and we would go out to dinner after my readings. Eventually she left New Orleans walking to safety after Hurricane Katrina. We have since lost touch.
At our last reading, which lasted close to two hours, she used several decks of cards to guide her comments. She was amazed that so many "threes" came up. The number three stands for ambivalence and indecision but, as she explained, not inability to decide but rather that I had a hard time deciding because "I wanted it all!"
For example I had a hard time deciding between buying "A" or buying "B" because I wanted both "A" AND "B." Visiting "A" or "B" because I wanted to visit both "A" AND "B." etc.
That helped me decide on getting another earring. With three earrings I would be reminded why I sometimes had difficulties making decisions. And it did describe me to a "T." That is the way I live my life, sometimes unconsciously and sometimes on purpose. I want it all!
So the number three not only represents the number of earrings in my left ear, the reason I have trouble making decisions at times, but also has become my favorite, lucky number.
As an aside, in the Japanese art of flower arranging, odd numbers of objects are the most pleasing. When possible my curated arrangements are in threes and I like to collect things in threes: like 3 bakelite buttons or 3 Chinese figurines or 3 matching Christmas ornaments.
I wanted to wear an earring but in those days, my career as a teacher caused me to have to be careful about any kind of behavior that would label me as some kind of subversive. It could cost me my job!
At that time, earrings on a man was a newer phenomenon and was suspect. It probably meant he was Gay. If he wasn't Gay then he was a hippy, or lived some kind of alternative life style or smoked pot and therefore was suspect none-the-less.
Supposedly if the left ear was pierced it meant he was the active sexual partner (the pitcher,) and if the right ear was pierced it meant he was the passive sexual partner (the catcher.)
Fast forward to my 50th birthday. By then I had retired from teaching, was wearing my earring all the time. I wanted a second one in the same ear. The first "hole" was high on the ear (done so the "hole" would not be apparent to students and other teachers in the classroom while I was not wearing the earring in school.)
I chose to have the second one in the regular location of the ear lobe. While I was happy with two earrings, it caused a controversy. Was there to much space between the two earrings or was it OK.
I asked a number of friends what they thought and the votes were evenly distributed. Some thought it looked just right and others thought they were too far apart. That raised the question, was two earrings enough or should I have a third piercing in between the two existing "holes?"
I hesitated and just couldn't decide, two or three? 2 or 3? II or III? What to do, what to do. Looking back, I am not sure why it was such a difficult decision but for some reason it was.
Now I need to digress in the story. I had been to New Orleans a number of times and really love the city. Once I went with Gregory but most often I went alone, on those "solitary vacations" that he and I used to take. We vacationed together often but now and then ventured off solo. New York, San Francisco, Mexico, New Orleans.
While in New Orleans one year, I went into a Voodoo shop and decided to have my "fortune" told for $20.00. The psychic's name was Ilene and for the most part her comments were very accurate.
I didn't tell her anything but she seemed to know a lot about me. I was a teacher, a writer, had a male lover, etc. Her description of what was important to me in life was accurate. And her predictions for the future seemed within reason.
Over the next several years, when in New Orleans, I would visit Ilene, we became friends of sorts, and we would go out to dinner after my readings. Eventually she left New Orleans walking to safety after Hurricane Katrina. We have since lost touch.
At our last reading, which lasted close to two hours, she used several decks of cards to guide her comments. She was amazed that so many "threes" came up. The number three stands for ambivalence and indecision but, as she explained, not inability to decide but rather that I had a hard time deciding because "I wanted it all!"
For example I had a hard time deciding between buying "A" or buying "B" because I wanted both "A" AND "B." Visiting "A" or "B" because I wanted to visit both "A" AND "B." etc.
That helped me decide on getting another earring. With three earrings I would be reminded why I sometimes had difficulties making decisions. And it did describe me to a "T." That is the way I live my life, sometimes unconsciously and sometimes on purpose. I want it all!
So the number three not only represents the number of earrings in my left ear, the reason I have trouble making decisions at times, but also has become my favorite, lucky number.
• • •
As an aside, in the Japanese art of flower arranging, odd numbers of objects are the most pleasing. When possible my curated arrangements are in threes and I like to collect things in threes: like 3 bakelite buttons or 3 Chinese figurines or 3 matching Christmas ornaments.
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