Showing posts with label Communication. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Communication. Show all posts

Wednesday, July 13, 2016

Revisiting Peaceful The Bear

Last night I was thinking about Gregory's bear. I think that of all the wonderful things I did for Gregory; to help make his life with Alzheimer's safe, comfortable, and as enjoyable as possible ... the bear was the best thing I ever did.


It got its name, Peaceful, when one day I was at Lieberman watching Gregory sleep while holding on to his bear. I wondered to myself, "When people with Dementia/ Alzheimer's sleep, are they at peace?"



Peaceful became a form of communication for Gregory. When sad he would hold the bear, once I captured a photo of him "crying into his bear" and being comforted. Another time I saw him, in anger, toss the bear across the room. It helped Gregory express that anger and then he was OK. Peaceful didn't mind!


Peaceful became a mascot of sorts for all of Lieberman. It was with Gregory wherever he went including down to the community room for concerts and other entertainments. People would greet the bear, inquire after the bear's health, and ask to hold the bear.



I purchased four (4) identical bears so that in the event of one becoming lost, or needing to go home with me to be washed; Gregory would always have his bear. At one point two bears went missing and one was at the condo spending time in the washer and dryer, and Gregory still had his bear to hold and to love.


When the bear would go missing, or as I called it "off on an adventure," he always found his way home via housekeeping, the laundry staff, Resident Care Assistants, and even at times the Social Worker or Head Nurse! Gregory's name was on the ribbon but I believe most people knew where the bear belonged and returned it to Gregory without much trouble.


Gregory just loved that bear. He would hold it while watching TV or listening to music. He would stroke it unconsciously and seemed to enjoy the feel of its fur.


 

The bear was always with us and helped celebrate birthdays, holidays, and other occasions. At Chanukah, Gregory donned a red scarf so he would look festive, like Peaceful with his red ribbon bow.


Peaceful celebrated Halloween. Gregory and he passed out a huge bowl of Trick or Treat candy to every department at Lieberman. Peaceful went dressed in his clown costume.


Gregory loved going outside to sit in the sun. Peaceful would always come along to keep him company. When preparing to go outside, Manny or I would gather Gregory's hat, his sun glasses, a bottle of water, a few treats, and if it might be chilly a jacket. We always made sure not to leave Peaceful behind.






 The photo below was taken by God-Son Isaac of Gregory in the second day of his coma and the day before he passed. You can see that Peaceful was on duty, as usual!


When Gregory died, all four Peaceful's were in place. I kept one, one went to friend Susan O'Halloran, one went to a nurse as a remembrance, and one was left at Lieberman for the other residents to continue holding and loving. If Peaceful could tell you his part of this story, I wonder what he would say?



Thursday, August 18, 2011

Emphasis

Today, top down in the convertible, Gregory and I wore our new baseball hats from the Botanic Garden. I found myself playing with emphasis on various words and how that affects meaning. Follow this,

I like our new hats.
Many meanings?

I like our new hats.
I like them but Gregory does not and I don't care that you do not like them because I do.

I LIKE our new hats.
The new hats are really nice and I like them a lot. I have other new hats but do not like them and have never worn them.

I like OUR new hats.
We both have new hats and I like them more than the hats that both of you got.

I like our NEW hats.
I like the new ones but there are many old ones I like also.

I like our new HATS.
We also got new shoes and new gloves, but I really like the new hats.

Monday, December 20, 2010

The Stories People Tell

People tell stories. They tell them to family, friends, acquaintances, neighbors, and sometimes to strangers they meet in the elevator or while standing in line at the checkout. Usually a person has a repertoire of stories that they tell to various people depending on the who, when, why, and where of the situation.


These stories get told over and over either because people are asked, are interesting, or because they are full of themselves. Eventually some stories get retired and new ones take their place. Actually I have known some people who retell the same stories over and over (I listen patiently) and never replace them.


I have discovered a new tendency in myself. Yes, I have my stories. Yes, I think most of them are interesting. No, I do not think I repeat them to the same person. But the new development is that I have been writing a number of my stories on my: "michael a horvich writes," "michael a horvich cares about people who care about alzheimer's," "michael a horvich photographs" and "michael's museum,"BLOGS.


I find myself telling a story and saying things like: "You may have read about this on my BLOG." "You can go to my BLOG and read about this." "Why don't you read my BLOG for a more detailed description."


Perhaps one day I will find myself saying: "You've heard the story, you've read the book, and now you can see the soon to be released movie." 
'
Stay tuned for the TV series:-)

Tuesday, November 16, 2010

Words

This was shared with us by our good friends Ken and Patricia DiPrima. A friend of theirs, Leonard Gillam who recently passed away, used to carry this poem in his wallet at all times. It was reproduced and shared with attendees at his funeral. The author is anonymous.


Words can charm and words can wound so choose your words with care.

Words can bring a blessing or hurt beyond repair.

Words can make us enemies and words can make us friends.

Words can make a quarrel and words can make amends.

Words of hate are stones flung out in anger or in spite.

Words of truth are stars flung out giving a sure and steadfast light.

Words of peace are isles of quietness in life's troubled sea.

Words of love are pearls strung out on the thread of memory.

So before you speak the things that spring into your mind,

Ask yourself this questions; Are these words true and kind?

Guard the gateways of your lips and guard them carefully.

Clothe your thoughts in words of beauty, peace, and charity.
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