Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Showing posts with label Humor. Show all posts
Wednesday, April 13, 2016
Wednesday, February 3, 2016
MIRACLE: The Date, The Time and A Dream
AS OF FEBRUARY 3, 2016, here is today's MIRACLE plus a listing of all the miracles I have experienced, sent by Gregory since he passed on October 4, 2015. All open in a new window so you won't get lost. I will update this post as new miracles take place.
http://mhorvichcares.blogspot.com/2015/10/gregory-iii.html
2) The Candle
http://mhorvichcares.blogspot.com/2015/10/gregorys-last-days.html
3) The Dream
http://mhorvichcares.blogspot.com/2015/10/a-dream.html
4) The Meeting
http://mhorvichcares.blogspot.com/2015/12/the-meeting.html
5) The Bear
http://mhorvichcares.blogspot.com/2015/12/the-bear.html
6) The Christmas Moon
http://mhorvichcares.blogspot.com/2015/12/a-christmas-full-moon.html
7) The Threes (333)
http://mhorvich.blogspot.com/2016/01/miracles-threes.html
8) 1, 2, 3, 4!
http://mhorvich.blogspot.com/2016/01/yesterday-was-gregory-and-my-41st.html
9) 1, 2, 3, 4! ... and a Daily Word
http://mhorvich.blogspot.com/2016/01/miracle-9.html
14) Time Flies
• • •
TODAY FEBRUARY 3, 2015
I woke at 4:56 am. Was pleased to have heard from Gregory after not having heard from him in a while. Then I realized that the clock also shows the date so the entire visual was: 2/3 4:56! You have read previously that I like to interpret these unique time sequences as a "wink," a "nod," a "hello" from Gregory nudging me awake to see his presence.
Next, I had what I call a "Work Oppressive Dream." I still dream about classroom events gone wrong and I haven't been a teacher for over 20 years! This one was about Gregory.
He was making copies of files using my new hp Color LaserJet Pro Printer. He had many files and was making three copies of each sheet in each file and the number of copies (and their cost) was piling up. One copy for the client, one was a work file, and one was to be kept at home.
First, I might mention that I recently purchased this printer because I wanted to not so much because I needed it. It was more expensive than a regular ink jet and the ink cartridges are more expensive, but the quality is superb and since I do not print all that much, I felt I could afford the upgrade.
In the dream I was angry with Gregory because he didn't need to make copies, he no longer needed to make copies, and through his Dementia I couldn't make him understand although I strongly tried.
As we had in the past, until I learned to understand how to approach situations like this (especially learning that sometimes you just cannot explain things and rather have to distract the person) I kept up trying to explain and as I did I got more and more angry.
He just ignored me and continued making copies. Finally I woke up. In analyzing the dream as I lie there half awake, I came up with three possibilities.
1) I feel a little guilty at having a more expensive printing setup.
2) Gregory was doing his best to say Hi! which he did in the style of his "Maire You Are A Shit" type of humor I so loved. This part of the realization caused me to giggle as I drifted back to sleep. And/or
3) I was meant to realize I no longer have to worry about "monitoring" his behavior and/or explaining, and/or getting angry at the sometimes silly things he did.
The interesting thing about this dream is that he was not just "present in the background" like so many dreams have been but rather he was an active part of a two person dream including only him and me.
I woke at 4:56 am. Was pleased to have heard from Gregory after not having heard from him in a while. Then I realized that the clock also shows the date so the entire visual was: 2/3 4:56! You have read previously that I like to interpret these unique time sequences as a "wink," a "nod," a "hello" from Gregory nudging me awake to see his presence.
Next, I had what I call a "Work Oppressive Dream." I still dream about classroom events gone wrong and I haven't been a teacher for over 20 years! This one was about Gregory.
He was making copies of files using my new hp Color LaserJet Pro Printer. He had many files and was making three copies of each sheet in each file and the number of copies (and their cost) was piling up. One copy for the client, one was a work file, and one was to be kept at home.
First, I might mention that I recently purchased this printer because I wanted to not so much because I needed it. It was more expensive than a regular ink jet and the ink cartridges are more expensive, but the quality is superb and since I do not print all that much, I felt I could afford the upgrade.
In the dream I was angry with Gregory because he didn't need to make copies, he no longer needed to make copies, and through his Dementia I couldn't make him understand although I strongly tried.
As we had in the past, until I learned to understand how to approach situations like this (especially learning that sometimes you just cannot explain things and rather have to distract the person) I kept up trying to explain and as I did I got more and more angry.
He just ignored me and continued making copies. Finally I woke up. In analyzing the dream as I lie there half awake, I came up with three possibilities.
1) I feel a little guilty at having a more expensive printing setup.
2) Gregory was doing his best to say Hi! which he did in the style of his "Maire You Are A Shit" type of humor I so loved. This part of the realization caused me to giggle as I drifted back to sleep. And/or
3) I was meant to realize I no longer have to worry about "monitoring" his behavior and/or explaining, and/or getting angry at the sometimes silly things he did.
The interesting thing about this dream is that he was not just "present in the background" like so many dreams have been but rather he was an active part of a two person dream including only him and me.
• • •
1) The Kiss http://mhorvichcares.blogspot.com/2015/10/gregory-iii.html
2) The Candle
http://mhorvichcares.blogspot.com/2015/10/gregorys-last-days.html
3) The Dream
http://mhorvichcares.blogspot.com/2015/10/a-dream.html
4) The Meeting
http://mhorvichcares.blogspot.com/2015/12/the-meeting.html
5) The Bear
http://mhorvichcares.blogspot.com/2015/12/the-bear.html
6) The Christmas Moon
http://mhorvichcares.blogspot.com/2015/12/a-christmas-full-moon.html
7) The Threes (333)
http://mhorvich.blogspot.com/2016/01/miracles-threes.html
8) 1, 2, 3, 4!
http://mhorvich.blogspot.com/2016/01/yesterday-was-gregory-and-my-41st.html
9) 1, 2, 3, 4! ... and a Daily Word
http://mhorvich.blogspot.com/2016/01/miracle-9.html
10) Start It Said and 11) 333 Again
12) Gigi Cares
13) A Gentle Blue Embrace
Wednesday, August 26, 2015
Momentum and Inertia
My friend Jan posted this on her blog.
Click here to see Jan's Blog - opens in a new window
I watched, I wondered, I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants. In some ways this short movie is a lot like life. Now your turn!
Click here to see Jan's Blog - opens in a new window
I watched, I wondered, I laughed so hard I almost peed my pants. In some ways this short movie is a lot like life. Now your turn!
Tuesday, June 10, 2014
The Typewriter
Love this, as any author/writer/poet would.
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZCh4EY_kug
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wZCh4EY_kug
Thursday, July 28, 2011
GOD
I am writing this about GOD, with ironic or flippant intent, may he/she not strike me down.
If you have read some of my previous work, you will know that while I consider myself a spiritual person, I do not consider myself a religious person and am not so sure I believe in a God. I have read, studied, discussed and continue my "search for God." The first breakthrough was when I realized that there could be a "spiritual god", up until then only thinking in terms of a "religious god." But that is a different story.
Last week, a number of God related items cropped up AUTOMATICALLY and I ammusedly thought, "Wow, that must mean that there is a God." Here comes the tongue in cheek part.
PROOF THAT GOD EXISTS:
How come when you come across something amazing, you utter, "Oh my God!"
A popular internet response is often, "OMG!"
When you hurt yourself you scream, "God, that hurts!"
When you get angry you vent, "God damn it!"
When you see something troubling you worry, "Dear God!"
When you think of something that you hope will never happen you set up, "God forbid."
When someone sneezes you offer, "God bless you."
When you are worried or facing an extreme difficulty you pray, "God help me!"
All these utterances seem to come automatically and naturally, whether you believe in God or not.
As my therapist likes to say, "Whether you believe in God or not, God believes in you."
Often I will find some writing that speaks to me but tends towards the religious thereby turning me off. Unity's Daily Word, while using the concepts of Christ and God, as a positive based religion seems to come closest to sitting well with me. What I like to do is cross out the religious overtones, sometimes add a word or two, and see if the writing still makes sense. Here is an example:
 |
|
Monday, July 4, 2011
Party
Gregory's birthday is on July 4th along with our Nation's. This will be the fourth year that we have had an immediate world party inviting everyone we know and giving them automatic permission to bring guests. Usually thirty to forty people show up for appetizers, dinner, fireworks and birthday cake.
I am known for the style in which I throw a party. I like it to be set up ahead of time, organized, and self-serve so I can mingle with the guests. To this end the appetizer station is set before the guests arrive, all the dinner buffet items are in a row on the back counter or saran wrapped and in the refrigerator ready go. I have been known to place a red flashing arrow at the beginning of the buffet signaling the direction of flow. Next to the glasses and ice bucket, I post a sign listing available drinks and where they are located: on counter, in refrigerator, in ice chest on balcony.
The cake is on display in another corner of the counter island with small plates and forks standing by. By the front door there is a schedule of events and a menu. In the T.V. room there is a slide show running of a recent vacation or pictures of G or myself growing up depending on the event.
While friends and family enjoy our parties and anticipate the next (July 4th, Fall Fest, Christmas, etc) they also like to make fun of how well organized I am. So to them I propose the following new approach.
When the guests arrive they will receive a laminated card listing the drinks, menu, and events of the evening. A chip will be embedded in the card which will confirm their arrival time as they pass through the entry hall and activate a place for them on the next event's party list.
As they pass the appetizer or drink station the card will announce the options and silently notify me by cell phone if any of the food is running low. If the guest feels the need to use the rest room and it is already busy, the chip will automatically put them on a wait list and the card's LEDS will flash when the rest room is available.
On passing the gift table, the card will note if a gift is left and record its weight. It will also photograph and tag the gift with the giver's name for future reference when it will automatically generate a thank you note e-mail.
At the end of the party the card may be inserted in the reader at the computer located by front door to give the attendee an opportunity to take a survey regarding how they enjoyed the party, if the rest rooms were clean and in order, if their meal was ample and hot, if the dessert was to their liking and will ask for any suggestions for future parties. By taking the survey, the guest will be moved closer to the top of the next party invitation list as well as receive a 10% discount on their parking fees.
"We appreciate your holding and appologize for any inconvenience you may have encountered. There are no cashiers in the lobby. Please take your ticket with you and pay at the machines in the lobby before exiting. One moment please. Please wait. We are encountering technological difficulties and are working to correct them. We thank you for your patience."
I am known for the style in which I throw a party. I like it to be set up ahead of time, organized, and self-serve so I can mingle with the guests. To this end the appetizer station is set before the guests arrive, all the dinner buffet items are in a row on the back counter or saran wrapped and in the refrigerator ready go. I have been known to place a red flashing arrow at the beginning of the buffet signaling the direction of flow. Next to the glasses and ice bucket, I post a sign listing available drinks and where they are located: on counter, in refrigerator, in ice chest on balcony.
The cake is on display in another corner of the counter island with small plates and forks standing by. By the front door there is a schedule of events and a menu. In the T.V. room there is a slide show running of a recent vacation or pictures of G or myself growing up depending on the event.
While friends and family enjoy our parties and anticipate the next (July 4th, Fall Fest, Christmas, etc) they also like to make fun of how well organized I am. So to them I propose the following new approach.
When the guests arrive they will receive a laminated card listing the drinks, menu, and events of the evening. A chip will be embedded in the card which will confirm their arrival time as they pass through the entry hall and activate a place for them on the next event's party list.
As they pass the appetizer or drink station the card will announce the options and silently notify me by cell phone if any of the food is running low. If the guest feels the need to use the rest room and it is already busy, the chip will automatically put them on a wait list and the card's LEDS will flash when the rest room is available.
On passing the gift table, the card will note if a gift is left and record its weight. It will also photograph and tag the gift with the giver's name for future reference when it will automatically generate a thank you note e-mail.
At the end of the party the card may be inserted in the reader at the computer located by front door to give the attendee an opportunity to take a survey regarding how they enjoyed the party, if the rest rooms were clean and in order, if their meal was ample and hot, if the dessert was to their liking and will ask for any suggestions for future parties. By taking the survey, the guest will be moved closer to the top of the next party invitation list as well as receive a 10% discount on their parking fees.
"We appreciate your holding and appologize for any inconvenience you may have encountered. There are no cashiers in the lobby. Please take your ticket with you and pay at the machines in the lobby before exiting. One moment please. Please wait. We are encountering technological difficulties and are working to correct them. We thank you for your patience."
Friday, April 1, 2011
April Fools Day
A dear friend from my "Waiting Tables at Jerome's" days now owns Limelight. Received this wonderful new spring menu in todays e-mail. Enjoy
SPRING FRESH FOLLY
Hors d’oeuvres
Parmesan Encrusted Frog Thighs
with Crispy Dutch Elm Bark
with Crispy Dutch Elm Bark
Tamarind Glazed Sweetbread Satay
with Spicy Mustard Gelée
with Spicy Mustard Gelée
Chickpea & Sugarbeet Fritter on a
Sugar Cane Skewer with Hazelnut Hummus
Sugar Cane Skewer with Hazelnut Hummus
Roasted Goat Belly Pancakes
with Freeze Dried Sheep’s Milk Confetti
with Freeze Dried Sheep’s Milk Confetti
Mini Oxtail Slider with Pickled Ramps
and Beer Bacon Compost
and Beer Bacon Compost
First Course
Spring Galette of Azur Sauerkraut,
Candied Rutabaga and Pernod Marinated
Dried Plum-Bergamot Puree
Candied Rutabaga and Pernod Marinated
Dried Plum-Bergamot Puree
Lightly Dressed Swiss Chard Stems
with Crunchy Eggshell Bits and Shaved Sea Bean Tendrils
garnished with a Bloomin’ Onion
with Crunchy Eggshell Bits and Shaved Sea Bean Tendrils
garnished with a Bloomin’ Onion
Black Bean and Mango Slaw
with Chipotle Infused Catfish Mousse
with Chipotle Infused Catfish Mousse
Hand made Heat Sealed Pockets
with Celery Root Ragout and Ponzu Foam
with Celery Root Ragout and Ponzu Foam
Entrees
Open Fire Roasted Baby Backyard Chicken
with Squish Squash Puree
with Squish Squash Puree
Gulf Coast Lutefish in Ale Broth
served with Marrow Beans, Thrice Baked Potato
and Clarified Tobacco Juice
served with Marrow Beans, Thrice Baked Potato
and Clarified Tobacco Juice
Ragout of Braised Tortoise Tongue
With Asparagus Sous Vide in a Garlic Wine Confit
With Asparagus Sous Vide in a Garlic Wine Confit
Seafood Stack of Sautéed Bone in Halibut
and Haunch of Salamander
in a Banana Miso Flambé with Fried Pistachios
and Haunch of Salamander
in a Banana Miso Flambé with Fried Pistachios
Desserts
White Pepper-Cannabis Sorbet and Stollen Bread Pudding
Deep Fried Elderflower Vine on Vanilla Tequila Butter Cake Balls
Maple Fat Donuts Dusted with Fool’s Gold
Deep Fried Elderflower Vine on Vanilla Tequila Butter Cake Balls
Maple Fat Donuts Dusted with Fool’s Gold
Cocktails
Pickletini
Black Truffle Float
Roof Garden Smasher
Black Truffle Float
Roof Garden Smasher
For more information or to discuss the meaning of today’s date contact
Tuesday, March 22, 2011
The Game of Clue
Love comes from the strangest places at the strangest times.
The other day, while at rehearsal for Carmen at The Lyric Opera of Chicago, I took a picture of the set of Act 2. I texted it to my niece with the questions "Guess who? Guess where?"
The response came: "My favorite uncle, at the opera house, with the candle stick."
Love and humor come from the strangest places but at the most needed moments.
The other day, while at rehearsal for Carmen at The Lyric Opera of Chicago, I took a picture of the set of Act 2. I texted it to my niece with the questions "Guess who? Guess where?"
The response came: "My favorite uncle, at the opera house, with the candle stick."
Love and humor come from the strangest places but at the most needed moments.
Saturday, January 1, 2011
A Joke
For some reason I thought of this "sophmoric" joke today and wanted to write it down.
There were three brothers who wanted to go into business together. The problem was that they didn't know what to name their business. The family's last name wasn't anything special and people wouldn't be able to remember or spell it, so that idea was out. Another problem is that their business talents were so disparate. One brother was a decorator, another brother worked selling and repairing car tires, and the third was a piano tuner. How would they come up with a name that covered their abilities?
After much contemplation, they finally came up with a name for their family business and had a sign painted to hang outside the shop: WE FIX FLATS.
P.S. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
There were three brothers who wanted to go into business together. The problem was that they didn't know what to name their business. The family's last name wasn't anything special and people wouldn't be able to remember or spell it, so that idea was out. Another problem is that their business talents were so disparate. One brother was a decorator, another brother worked selling and repairing car tires, and the third was a piano tuner. How would they come up with a name that covered their abilities?
After much contemplation, they finally came up with a name for their family business and had a sign painted to hang outside the shop: WE FIX FLATS.
P.S. HAPPY NEW YEAR!
Thursday, December 16, 2010
Yes Virginia There Really Is a Santa Clause
I have been receiving many comments on my new hairstyle. I have decided to let it grow longer than it has been for a while. When my hair is short it is straight and close to my head. When I let it grow it curls and has a big presence on my head. The fact that it is more white than black anymore makes it sparkle and stand out even more. When I receive compliments ("I really love it," they say.) I casually comment, "It's my Santa Claus look." Then, if there is time, I tell my "Christmas Beard" story.
Today as we were leaving the Condo Association Meeting and Winter Social, the building manager called me over to the sofa where she was sitting with two little old (85+?) ladies who live on the seventh floor. I had never met them before and she wanted to introduce me because they both had commented, "Look Santa is here." So yes, in some form or another Virginia, Santa Claus still lives on in the hearts of the old as well the young.
Be sure to read tomorrow's BLOG which will relate the young part of the story in: "The Christmas Beard."
Today as we were leaving the Condo Association Meeting and Winter Social, the building manager called me over to the sofa where she was sitting with two little old (85+?) ladies who live on the seventh floor. I had never met them before and she wanted to introduce me because they both had commented, "Look Santa is here." So yes, in some form or another Virginia, Santa Claus still lives on in the hearts of the old as well the young.
Be sure to read tomorrow's BLOG which will relate the young part of the story in: "The Christmas Beard."
Sunday, October 31, 2010
Confused on the Internet
I am so confused. Trying to create a larger presence on an already large internet is disconcerting. So far I have: 1) a website with my partner Gregory, 2) a me.com gallery, 3) a professional site, 4) a Michael's Museum site, 5) a writing BLOG, 6) an Alzheimer's BLOG, 7) a photography BLOG, and 8) a Michael's Museum BLOG. I will soon be linked to: 9) The Chicago Children's Museum on Navy Pier site, 10) am beginning to develop a Twitter visibility, 11) just opened a Twitpix account, 12) just remembered I have the Google Picasa picture site, and 13) want to do more on Linkedin. A baker's dozen. A good luck number. A lot of work.
I wrote this BLOG after I tried to share a picture on my friend Jan's BLOG entry "Bookshelf Porn." First, I couldn't figure out how to do it. Then, I did it, but incorrectly. Next I figured it out. Finally, there is probably a better way to do so, but one of which I am still unaware. I am confused on the internet.
So here is my answer. Here is my BLOG entry. Here is a picture of my contribution to Jan's BLOG "Bookshelf Porn." And here is a link to Jan's BLOG. (P.S. You can reach most of my active internet endeavors and those of my friends by clicking on the links to your right!)
CLICK HERE FOR
Jan's BLOG: "Bookshelf Porn"
MY ADDITION/COMMENT ON JAN'S BLOG:
I wrote this BLOG after I tried to share a picture on my friend Jan's BLOG entry "Bookshelf Porn." First, I couldn't figure out how to do it. Then, I did it, but incorrectly. Next I figured it out. Finally, there is probably a better way to do so, but one of which I am still unaware. I am confused on the internet.
So here is my answer. Here is my BLOG entry. Here is a picture of my contribution to Jan's BLOG "Bookshelf Porn." And here is a link to Jan's BLOG. (P.S. You can reach most of my active internet endeavors and those of my friends by clicking on the links to your right!)
CLICK HERE FOR
Jan's BLOG: "Bookshelf Porn"
MY ADDITION/COMMENT ON JAN'S BLOG:
Bedroom Books. Note two art pieces (left-"Me at My Wedding" and right-"Broom Lady") by Jan.
Saturday, October 30, 2010
A Tale (Tail) of Two Kitties
Last night as we were dozing off, I heard Mariah (our cat) squeaking. Sometimes she does that when she is in the other part of the house and feels lonely. I whistle her special whistle or call her name and she comes to find us, lonely no more.
This time she didn't show up but continued squeaking. Half asleep I didn't want to get out of bed, but I did. I searched the front of the house and Mariah was not to be found. Then I heard a squeak again and laughed. I realized that she had been locked in the bathroom and was calling, "Let me out of here!"
In a high voice, I narrated aloud one scenario of what she was thinking: "Oh my. I am locked in here and I am so scared. It is so dark and I am all alone. I am frightened. I am trapped forever. Meow. Meow. Meow!"
Instantly I began a second scenario, "Damn fool. Locked me in here again. How long am I going to have to shout before the dummy realizes where I am? Why is he looking in the living room? If I am smart enough to let them know I'm locked in here, isn't he smart enough to hear that I am calling from the bathroom?"
Then, fully awake by now, I got the giggles. "What?" Gregory asked. "A Tail of Two Kitties" I replied.
"Cities. Goodnight," he said.
This time she didn't show up but continued squeaking. Half asleep I didn't want to get out of bed, but I did. I searched the front of the house and Mariah was not to be found. Then I heard a squeak again and laughed. I realized that she had been locked in the bathroom and was calling, "Let me out of here!"
In a high voice, I narrated aloud one scenario of what she was thinking: "Oh my. I am locked in here and I am so scared. It is so dark and I am all alone. I am frightened. I am trapped forever. Meow. Meow. Meow!"
Instantly I began a second scenario, "Damn fool. Locked me in here again. How long am I going to have to shout before the dummy realizes where I am? Why is he looking in the living room? If I am smart enough to let them know I'm locked in here, isn't he smart enough to hear that I am calling from the bathroom?"
Then, fully awake by now, I got the giggles. "What?" Gregory asked. "A Tail of Two Kitties" I replied.
"Cities. Goodnight," he said.
Thursday, October 28, 2010
Stories from Therapy
On Tuesdays I see Dr. Demuth for a one hour therapy session. This is the second time I have given him a plastic mini-pumpkin which means that we have been seeing each other now for over a year. He provides me with many experiences therapeutic, educational, emotional, practical, and intellectual.
For some reason, today we kept coming up with ideas for my BLOG. Some of them included the following humorous essay beginnings:
Now that you are cured…
I've said this before but I still…
That would make a good poem ...
Shoot me down on this one if you need to …
Don't say it. I know what you are thinking ...
What do you mean you have run out of tissues ...
Why does everyone else seem so crazy ...
Only five minutes left ...
Most importantly … oh my time is up?
See you next week.
For some reason, today we kept coming up with ideas for my BLOG. Some of them included the following humorous essay beginnings:
Now that you are cured…
I've said this before but I still…
That would make a good poem ...
Shoot me down on this one if you need to …
Don't say it. I know what you are thinking ...
What do you mean you have run out of tissues ...
Why does everyone else seem so crazy ...
Only five minutes left ...
Most importantly … oh my time is up?
See you next week.
Tuesday, August 31, 2010
Decolletage
decolletage or décolletage
PRONUNCIATION:
(day-kol-TAZH, -kol-uh-)
MEANING:
noun: A low neckline on a woman's dress.
Every morning I get a new definition from wordsmith.org. It is a great way to build your vocabulary and also a way to insure that you do not embarrass yourself when speaking. "My doctor said I had a coronary trombonest."
Sometimes a word arrives that sets my mind off in all directions. Today was just such a day with the word: decolletage. As you can tell from the above definition it deals with the female breast as exposed by a plunging neckline. My grandma wouldn't approve.
Here are some other possible definitions based on how the word looks.
decolletage - an art form that includes gluing various pieces of cloth to a dress in colorful, geometric patterns making sure to leave no white showing.
decolletage - to undo what one has learned at an institution of higher learning while studying haute couture.
decolletage - a viscous, usually amber colored liquid glue contained in a clear plastic bottle with a breast shaped application tip.
Sign up to get you very own word of the day at: Word a Day E-Mail
PRONUNCIATION:
(day-kol-TAZH, -kol-uh-)
MEANING:
noun: A low neckline on a woman's dress.
ETYMOLOGY:
From French décolletage (low-cut), past participle of décolleter (to expose the neck), from de- (away) + collet (collar), diminutive of col (neck). Every morning I get a new definition from wordsmith.org. It is a great way to build your vocabulary and also a way to insure that you do not embarrass yourself when speaking. "My doctor said I had a coronary trombonest."
Sometimes a word arrives that sets my mind off in all directions. Today was just such a day with the word: decolletage. As you can tell from the above definition it deals with the female breast as exposed by a plunging neckline. My grandma wouldn't approve.
Here are some other possible definitions based on how the word looks.
decolletage - an art form that includes gluing various pieces of cloth to a dress in colorful, geometric patterns making sure to leave no white showing.
decolletage - to undo what one has learned at an institution of higher learning while studying haute couture.
decolletage - a viscous, usually amber colored liquid glue contained in a clear plastic bottle with a breast shaped application tip.
Sign up to get you very own word of the day at: Word a Day E-Mail
Wednesday, August 25, 2010
Curmudgeon or Youth?
curmudgeon |kərˈməjən|nouna bad-tempered or surly person. often associated with old age.
youth |yoōθ|nounthe state or quality of being young, esp. as associated with vigor, freshness, or immaturity
• • • • •
Three experiences recently led me to realize that both can exist simultaneously.
youth |yoōθ|nounthe state or quality of being young, esp. as associated with vigor, freshness, or immaturity
• • • • •
Three experiences recently led me to realize that both can exist simultaneously.
1) Bubble Bath in the Fountain
The other night G and I were on our way out to dinner. Major joy, laughter, and fun had broken out at Fountain Square directly across from our condo. Some college kids had emptied a huge bottle of bubble bath into the pool of the three connecting fountains. The force of the water spouts, as you can imagine, was stirring up huge, six foot clumps of bubbles which the wind was picking up and distributing around the entire plaza. Young people were gamboling, frolicking, and swimming through the soap suds and having a wonderful time. My first reaction was, "Vandalism! Inappropriate! Immature!" My next reaction was: "What fun! How creative! What an idea!" I guess youth won.
2) Bicycles in the Parking Garage
As I entered the parking garage on my way home from grocery shopping, I noticed six young boys, early high school age at most, hanging out around the garage elevators. When I got to my tenth floor space I realized why they were hanging out in the elevator lobby. Did I mention they were on their bicycles? They had taken the elevators to the top of the garage (twelve floors) and by the time I next saw them, they were speedily, joyfully, laughingly racing down the ramps of the garage. My first reaction was: "Illegal! Dangerous! Disrespectful!" My next reaction was: "Wow! How fun! How creative! What an idea!" I guess youth won again.
3) Cracking One's Knuckles
As I was sitting here typing this blog, I cracked my knuckles as I am used to doing. All ten fingers went at the same time to a very loud "CRACK!" My first reaction was: "Well I didn't break anything!" My next reaction was to giggle.
Hopefully youth will continue to win out.
Hopefully youth will continue to win out.
Tuesday, August 24, 2010
A Laughing Awareness
For the last three weeks, I have been furiously working with my editor, Karen Schindler, on the final edits to my manuscript: GYROSCOPE: An Alzheimer's Love Story, before sending it off to the publisher. They requested a look at the manuscript and we will see if they like it well enough to option the book.
The editing journey has been a good one and for the first time in my life I am actually enjoying the journey, not fretting through it until I arrive at the end. "The journey is all there really is," is a truth that is beginning to make sense to me.
During this editing process I have felt real. I can say I am a writer and I believe it. I have believed that since I attended the artist residency at The Ragdale Foundation last January. The actual writing, editing, knowing what I think about my writing etc makes me feel even more real. I read my work and like how it sounds, what it has to say.
As far as the book, I have no expectations and will not take a rejection personally because I do know that is part of the game. I have hopes, but they are under control.
Another thing I have become aware of currently is that when I read other people's work, I feel inferior. I compare myself. I read a poem and think my work sucks. I read a story and think my work is sophomoric. I see a photograph and think mine are just snap shots.
I know my feelings of inferiority are not true but the FRAUD COMPLEX takes over. Friends and family enjoy what I write but the FRAUD COMPLEX takes over. The publisher read my query letter and it interested them enough that they requested to see my manuscript but the FRAUD COMPLEX TAKES OVER.
As soon as those feelings pop up, I literally raise my hand to the air and say, "STOP thinking like that!" As a way of putting these feelings to rest I exaggerate them. "Who would want to read this smelly crap anyway. No one in their right mind would pay a penny to buy this stuff. Only good to use as toilet paper or to make a paper airplane. What a waste of good paper and ink."
And I begin to smile. And I chuckle. And I laugh. Instead of letting these feelings hide out in the background and affect my mood and my work, I have been raising them to the level of awareness, a laughing awareness. And as for the rest … time will tell. (Oops was that trite?)
The editing journey has been a good one and for the first time in my life I am actually enjoying the journey, not fretting through it until I arrive at the end. "The journey is all there really is," is a truth that is beginning to make sense to me.
During this editing process I have felt real. I can say I am a writer and I believe it. I have believed that since I attended the artist residency at The Ragdale Foundation last January. The actual writing, editing, knowing what I think about my writing etc makes me feel even more real. I read my work and like how it sounds, what it has to say.
As far as the book, I have no expectations and will not take a rejection personally because I do know that is part of the game. I have hopes, but they are under control.
Another thing I have become aware of currently is that when I read other people's work, I feel inferior. I compare myself. I read a poem and think my work sucks. I read a story and think my work is sophomoric. I see a photograph and think mine are just snap shots.
I know my feelings of inferiority are not true but the FRAUD COMPLEX takes over. Friends and family enjoy what I write but the FRAUD COMPLEX takes over. The publisher read my query letter and it interested them enough that they requested to see my manuscript but the FRAUD COMPLEX TAKES OVER.
As soon as those feelings pop up, I literally raise my hand to the air and say, "STOP thinking like that!" As a way of putting these feelings to rest I exaggerate them. "Who would want to read this smelly crap anyway. No one in their right mind would pay a penny to buy this stuff. Only good to use as toilet paper or to make a paper airplane. What a waste of good paper and ink."
And I begin to smile. And I chuckle. And I laugh. Instead of letting these feelings hide out in the background and affect my mood and my work, I have been raising them to the level of awareness, a laughing awareness. And as for the rest … time will tell. (Oops was that trite?)
Wednesday, August 11, 2010
The Voyage
I have never liked the idea of going on a cruise ship.
Our friend Nancy has lyrically summed up, better than I could have, my reasons. She said, "It was a cross between going to a Bar Mitzvah, a Wedding, Disney Land, and Las Vegas and over eating with a lot of strangers on a very large boat which became quite small the longer you were on it.
Our friend Nancy has lyrically summed up, better than I could have, my reasons. She said, "It was a cross between going to a Bar Mitzvah, a Wedding, Disney Land, and Las Vegas and over eating with a lot of strangers on a very large boat which became quite small the longer you were on it.
Friday, July 23, 2010
Moshi
The other day my alarm clock stopped working so I have been in the market for a new one. Needs to be battery operated, large digital readout, easy to set, able to light up during the middle of the night, and good looking. Not too much to ask but so far I have been jilted at every turn. I will keep looking until I find just the right one.
The other day we were at a store called Brookstone, which if you don't know features all kinds of household appliances that you would never think you needed until you see one and realize you can't do without it.In your mind, picture massaging chairs, self-opening wine bottle openers, talking picture frames, and B-B-Q thermometers that light up for night grilling.
I went into the store to see if they had a clock that met my needs. I saw a clock called "Moshi." Sounds like a Jewish clock but I didn't ask. It has a 3" x 5" digital time window that when addressed, answers in a female voice. Not sure if you can set it to male. I interviewed the clock, the drill goes something like this:
"Moshi, What time is it." And Moshi replies, "It is seven fifteen pee emm." She sounds almost real.
"Moshi, What is the date?" "The date is July seventh, two thousand and ten."
"Moshi, Set the alarm for eight a.m." "The alarm is set for eight ayy emm."
"Moshi, What is the temperature?" "The temperature is 72 degrees Fahrenheit."
"Moshi, Turn on the night light."
If you rock the 3x5 window, Moshi will alternate between time, alarm, date, day, temperature, each with a different color read out. You can set her to "shut up" or "talk louder." I got to thinking about what Moshi could say if she put her mind to it.
"Moshi, What time is it?" "It is just a few minutes later than when you last asked!"
"Moshi, What is the date?" "Why should I tell you when you didn't even remember my birthday?"
"Moshi, Set the alarm for 8 a.m." "Say please!"
"Moshi, Turn off the alarm." "If I do you will fall back to sleep, miss your meeting again, and blame me. No way!"
"Moshi, Turn on the clock light." "Get up and turn it on yourself!"
Needless to say, I passed on purchasing the clock and am still looking for the perfect one.
The other day we were at a store called Brookstone, which if you don't know features all kinds of household appliances that you would never think you needed until you see one and realize you can't do without it.In your mind, picture massaging chairs, self-opening wine bottle openers, talking picture frames, and B-B-Q thermometers that light up for night grilling.
I went into the store to see if they had a clock that met my needs. I saw a clock called "Moshi." Sounds like a Jewish clock but I didn't ask. It has a 3" x 5" digital time window that when addressed, answers in a female voice. Not sure if you can set it to male. I interviewed the clock, the drill goes something like this:
"Moshi, What time is it." And Moshi replies, "It is seven fifteen pee emm." She sounds almost real.
"Moshi, What is the date?" "The date is July seventh, two thousand and ten."
"Moshi, Set the alarm for eight a.m." "The alarm is set for eight ayy emm."
"Moshi, What is the temperature?" "The temperature is 72 degrees Fahrenheit."
"Moshi, Turn on the night light."
If you rock the 3x5 window, Moshi will alternate between time, alarm, date, day, temperature, each with a different color read out. You can set her to "shut up" or "talk louder." I got to thinking about what Moshi could say if she put her mind to it.
"Moshi, What time is it?" "It is just a few minutes later than when you last asked!"
"Moshi, What is the date?" "Why should I tell you when you didn't even remember my birthday?"
"Moshi, Set the alarm for 8 a.m." "Say please!"
"Moshi, Turn off the alarm." "If I do you will fall back to sleep, miss your meeting again, and blame me. No way!"
"Moshi, Turn on the clock light." "Get up and turn it on yourself!"
Needless to say, I passed on purchasing the clock and am still looking for the perfect one.
Sunday, July 18, 2010
Art or Soup?
Many years ago, a young girl named Amelia decided that she wanted to "do art" like Jack, her father and Jane, her mother. So she set up a studio in the basement corner of her father's sculpture studio/workshop. Being a young person, the table she used was small and low and the chair she sat on was small and low.
On her work surface she arranged all of her art supplies including crayons, paper, glue, scissors, pencils and pens, and bits and scraps of this and that. The crayons were neatly arranged in their carefully opened box, the paper was stacked precisely and placed in the upper right hand corner of the table, the scissors and glue and pens and pencils were standing straight in a clean frozen juice can, the bits and pieces of this and that were safely stored in a wooden cigar box.
Amelia spent most of her art time arranging and rearranging her work space. The paper moved from the right corner to the left corner, the crayons were taken out of their box and filled the juice can, and the pens and pencils moved to the cigar box.
First, the table faced the wall, then came out sideways from the wall, and then faced the room with the chair between the table and the wall. The beads, thread, and pins started out in a shallow tuna can but were moved to a glass jar, and next were in placed a shallow plastic container. And then her supplies moved again. And again. And again.
While Amelia did some art, like drawing and also stringing beads on a large safety pin (one of which I still have in a drawer) it turned out that her art really embraced the concept of mixed-media time, space, and area movement. It included their layout management, arrangement, and rearrangement. If one had thought to photograph her work space over time, a wonderfully interesting pattern would be apparent and isn't that in itself art?
P.S. Amelia grew up, married, became Dr. Room Professor of Archeology, and has two lovely, well organized children. The names have been changed to protect the innocent.
On her work surface she arranged all of her art supplies including crayons, paper, glue, scissors, pencils and pens, and bits and scraps of this and that. The crayons were neatly arranged in their carefully opened box, the paper was stacked precisely and placed in the upper right hand corner of the table, the scissors and glue and pens and pencils were standing straight in a clean frozen juice can, the bits and pieces of this and that were safely stored in a wooden cigar box.
Amelia spent most of her art time arranging and rearranging her work space. The paper moved from the right corner to the left corner, the crayons were taken out of their box and filled the juice can, and the pens and pencils moved to the cigar box.
First, the table faced the wall, then came out sideways from the wall, and then faced the room with the chair between the table and the wall. The beads, thread, and pins started out in a shallow tuna can but were moved to a glass jar, and next were in placed a shallow plastic container. And then her supplies moved again. And again. And again.
While Amelia did some art, like drawing and also stringing beads on a large safety pin (one of which I still have in a drawer) it turned out that her art really embraced the concept of mixed-media time, space, and area movement. It included their layout management, arrangement, and rearrangement. If one had thought to photograph her work space over time, a wonderfully interesting pattern would be apparent and isn't that in itself art?
P.S. Amelia grew up, married, became Dr. Room Professor of Archeology, and has two lovely, well organized children. The names have been changed to protect the innocent.
Tuesday, July 13, 2010
Pesto
It is that time of the season when the Basil plants on the balcony are twice as large as they should be. So I decided to make Pesto Pasta With Meat Balls for dinner tonight. I harvested the top half of approximately fifteen plants, picked each leaf off its stem and washed and dried what amounted to approximately 10 cups packed or what was needed for a double bach of Pesto.
Next I measured a double order of kosher salt and freshly ground pepper (2 tsp each,) double the pignolis (pine nuts) and walnuts (½ cup each,) and cleaned 20 garlic cloves. Did I mention that yesterday I purchased a Cusinart Food Processor? NO? Well I did, having decided that I am doing enough cooking to DESERVE ONE!
I placed the walnuts, pignolis, and garlic in the bowl of my new food processor fitted with the steel blade and processed for 60 seconds (double the time for a double batch.) Next I added the basil leaves, salt, and pepper. Then with the processor running, I was next supposed to slowly pour the three cups of olive oil into the bowl through the feed tube and then I was supposed to process until the pesto was thoroughly pureed. After that, I was supposed to add the two cups of Parmesan and puree for a few minutes. Finally I was supposed to serve or store the pesto in the refrigerator or freezer with a thin film of olive oil on top.
Here comes the twist in the plot of the story. I had only one cup of olive oil (not three) with no backup in the pantry and only one cup (not two) of Parmesan cheese. So instead of an Italian dinner at home, we went to the theater to see "I Am Love," a beautiful, difficult movie that takes place in Italy, then on to BRAVO, an Italian restaurant in the neighborhood and had Italian Wedding Soup for dinner. Tomorrow come back and I'll let you know if we were able to create our own Italian dinner (Pesto Pasta with Meat Balls) at home.
(This recipe came from "Barefoot Contessa" 2000 and measurements as stated are for a double batch of Pesto.)
Next I measured a double order of kosher salt and freshly ground pepper (2 tsp each,) double the pignolis (pine nuts) and walnuts (½ cup each,) and cleaned 20 garlic cloves. Did I mention that yesterday I purchased a Cusinart Food Processor? NO? Well I did, having decided that I am doing enough cooking to DESERVE ONE!
I placed the walnuts, pignolis, and garlic in the bowl of my new food processor fitted with the steel blade and processed for 60 seconds (double the time for a double batch.) Next I added the basil leaves, salt, and pepper. Then with the processor running, I was next supposed to slowly pour the three cups of olive oil into the bowl through the feed tube and then I was supposed to process until the pesto was thoroughly pureed. After that, I was supposed to add the two cups of Parmesan and puree for a few minutes. Finally I was supposed to serve or store the pesto in the refrigerator or freezer with a thin film of olive oil on top.
Here comes the twist in the plot of the story. I had only one cup of olive oil (not three) with no backup in the pantry and only one cup (not two) of Parmesan cheese. So instead of an Italian dinner at home, we went to the theater to see "I Am Love," a beautiful, difficult movie that takes place in Italy, then on to BRAVO, an Italian restaurant in the neighborhood and had Italian Wedding Soup for dinner. Tomorrow come back and I'll let you know if we were able to create our own Italian dinner (Pesto Pasta with Meat Balls) at home.
(This recipe came from "Barefoot Contessa" 2000 and measurements as stated are for a double batch of Pesto.)
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