Monday, January 2, 2012

Death Hangs Heavy

On December 31, two days ago, we received a call from Gregory's niece Renee telling us that Mark, Gregory's brother, had suffered a major stroke and that only time would tell if he survived it or not. This after a previous smaller stroke, many over the years "resetting the heart" procedures, putting in a pace maker, removing the pacemaker in favor of a machine that basically ran his heart full time, being careful with his weight, taking his medications religiously.

It brings a heaviness to the air that one cannot completely describe. One that is yours to carry around during your day to day activities of living. You continue to live as he possibly continues to die. It reminds you of your own fragility as well as your continued strength. You feel a sense of sadness and fear yet numbed versions. Did I say a sense of helplessness. Pray? Not sure how that helps. Hold positive healing thoughts, sounds better to me.

So we continue to wait and hope try not to notice that shadow following us around the house.

                Unaware By: Michael A. Horvich (2010)

There is a fear
That lurks just behind
The awareness of your thinking

The next moment
Will not be like this moment
Or the one before

And with a comment
Or the ring of a phone
All will change

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