Amazing how our electronics have come to support our busy life style.
The HOUSE PHONE WARBLES when someone wants to talk to us, it BLURBS when a voice mail was left with the service, and FLASHES when a message is left on the unit itself. It serves as a doorbell when the doorman calls to say someone has arrived to visit.
When you want to FORWARD A CALL on the house phone, you wait for a DIAL TONE then dial *72 and hear a BLURB then dial the number you want your calls forwarded to, which in turn RINGS the forwarded number. When you cancel the forward you get a DOUBLE DIAL TONE.
The CELL PHONE RINGS or plays a RINGTONE (read MELODY or SONG) when someone is calling, CLICKS while you are talking if someone else calls, BEEPS when you have missed a call, BLURTS when a message is waiting.
The MICROWAVE OVEN BEEPS and the readout says “Your food is ready!” If you do not respond, the oven continues to BEEP every 30 seconds or so. When preparing the microwave to warm or cook, for each number, each command, each start or stop you enter, the oven BEEPS at you.
If you use the MICROWAVE OVEN TIMER, you get more BEEPS, when entering information and when timing is completed.
Our COFFEE MAKER BEEPS three times when the coffee is finished brewing and BEEPS five times when the maker automatically turns itself off.
Our WASHER and DRYER SQUEAL. The washer SQUEALS when your clothes have finished their washing cycle. You cannot open the washer door until it has announced itself. The dryer SQUEALS when your clothes are almost finished drying (in case you want to take them out to avoid wrinkles) and SQUEALS again when the cycle is fully finished.
The FURNACE CLICKS and the thermostat lights up when you touch the buttons to increase or decrease the heating or cooling.
The building FIRE ALARM SIRENS horribly when someone or something has activated the alarm. Then a live VOICE from “Command Central” lets you know to relax or to evacuate!
The SMOKE DETECTORS and the CO2 DETECTORS WAIL when they detect that which they are meant to detect. If you do not change the batteries (you should do this every October) then the units CHIRPS at you until you do change them or until the batteries are totally worn out.
Several of my WATCHES will DING on the hour, half hour, or at a time of your own choosing.
Our GRANDMOTHER’S CLOCK, an antique from Helen, does it’s DING - DONG - DING - DONG, every fifteen minutes and on the hour GONG - GONG - GONGs for each hour.
The GENERAL ELECTRIC OVEN will BEEP when it has reached its pre-heating temperature, and if you set the timer, it will BEEP when your food is done cooking. There is also a TIMER on the oven that will BEEP after the hours and minutes you have set are up.
The GENERAL ELECTRIC GLASS TOP RANGE will BUZZ if you have locked the knobs so children cannot turn on the burners by accident.
The TOASTER DINGS when your toast is ready. The TOASTER OVEN DONGS when it is finished.
My MACINTOSH COMPUTER has the potential to HERO, MAGIC BELL, MORSE CODE, PING, POP, PURR, SOSUMI, SUBMARINE, TINK, or the ability to RECORD YOUR OWN ALERT!
The HEWLETT PACKART All-In-One PRINTER will PERK at you when you enter any information, it will PERK when you receive or send a fax, PERK when you scan, PERK if you make a copy, PERK-reduce, PERK-enlarge, PERK-reverse, PERK-rotate, PERK-reset, PERK-program, PERK-auto dial, PERK, PERK, PERK.
Finally, how about those LEDs? I have counted fifteen of them just from where I am sitting working on this essay! I am afraid to count how many LEDs in the entire apartment. Amazing how our electronics have come to support our busy life style.
BEEP! BUZZ! RING! Wait, wait, what needs my attention now?
January 5, 2008