When a child has a dream and a parent says, "It's not financially feasible; you can't make a living at that; don't do it," we say to the child, run away from home... You must follow your dream. You will never be joyful if you don't. Your dream may change, but you've got to stay after your dreams. You have to.
When we look at ourselves in the mirror, we often hear a narrative in our mind of what we see, a definition of self in the form of an identity that is based on our "agreements" -- the thoughts and beliefs we have said yes to. This identity stems from ideological beliefs that have come to us over a period of time from our family, culture, religion, education, friends ... etc.
---Don Miguel Ruiz Jr.
The purpose of a spiritual path is to take us beyond inner dogmas and habitual patterns of thinking and behavior in order to deeply develop conscious experience. Otherwise, conditioned concepts of who we are--as a result of our upbringing, education, communities, culture, and so on--lock us into ways of being that can bring stress, hardship, and confusion, and most importantly, that can block the fruition of our inner potential.
--Buddhist Master Segyu Rinpoche
When we are under stress we can lose connection and as a result, begin to steal energy from others. It is at this time we can determine what methods we use to control others. There are four "control dramas."
Poor Me - We make others feel guilty for not doing enough for us. When he or she buys into this "guilt trip", we gain energy.
Aloof - We remain detached, secretive, and vague in hopes to entice someone into chasing us around in order to figure us out. Energy is gained from the attention.
Interrogator - We attempt to control others by "finding fault" and making others feel self-conscious.
Intimidator - We win energy by frightening others into paying attention.
In order to progress spiritually, we need to identify the drama/dramas that apply to us and when they occur, we need to control and subdue them. By analyzing our parents and their own control dramas we can understand the two points of view that were integrated into our early lives. We can also understand where our own dramas originated from and why.
However, the following is also important:
Each of us is the next step in evolution along the lineage created by our two parents. Our higher purpose on earth can be found by recognizing what our parents accomplished and where they left off. By reconciling what they gave us with what they left us to resolve, we can get a clear picture of who we are and what we are meant to do.
James Redfield, The Celestine Prophecy