The Book of Should, I call it "BS." Bull Shit!
I find that as I grow older, I have (or allow) fewer "aughts" and "shoulds" to govern my behavior, my life. I trust my instincts, I trust my beliefs, I trust myself to lead my life in the most loving, productive, healthy way that I can.
I do not depend on others to monitor my life or to pass judgment on me. Lord (excuse the expression) knows that I have passed judgement on myself often enough to last a lifetime. I am working on just loving and accepting me without the aughts and shoulds and for the most part I do.
I surround myself with people whom I love and respect and while it may sound mean, I toss those who do not love and respect me in return. I do not NEED friends and family, I CHOOSE friends and family. I do not need to prove myself to anyone, I have proved myself to me.
I do not have to worry about job descriptions or career paths. I do not have any place I have to be if I do not want to be there.
I do not have anyone to answer to. No bosses and for that matter, while one's parents are always watching and judging (in one's own mind,) their voices slowly fade over time especially once they are dead and gone (although I do miss sitting with them.)
I find I am constantly re-evaluating the values I was given by parents, relatives, teachers, religious leaders, friends, co-workers, etc. The ones that I agree with after almost 70 years of experience I keep, the other values I revise and/or toss.
In some ways I do not have to worry about the future. For me, the future is here. I have earned it! Financially I am OK. Not fabulously wealthy, but OK. My condo is comfortable and paid for. I enjoy good food, good music, good theater. My health, while it could weigh less, is excellent. I sleep well.
So I no longer subscribe to the Book of Should, BS! It feels good to say that and is one of the benefits of getting older. Don't get me wrong, being old isn't always the best thing to be, but it could be worse, and I am pleased with me!
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