Tears Today

The GRIEF with which I am dealing over Gregory's death seems to be at a very manageable level. Every now and then it flairs, as I am sure it will do forever, but especially since his leaving is still so new and as we approach the October 4th, first year anniversary.

Browsing Facebook, I came across this. Click PLAY and read on:

TEARS

• • •

Sitting on the balcony
Sun beating down on my face.
An image of Gregory
Taking off his shirt
To bask in the warmth.

TEARS

• • •

Making the bed this morning
Tightening the sheets
Pulling up the blanket
Arranging the pillows
His side of the bed missing.

TEARS

• • •

At the Saturday Farmer's Market
Fresh from the farm produce,
And flowers, and meats, and cheese,
And baked goods, and food trucks.

Gregory standing in the middle of the lane
Surrounded by the gayly shopping crowd
One hand on our cart filled with goodies
Taking it all in like a little boy at the circus.

TEARS

• • •

Holiday coming up in a few days, another Labor Day

What shall I plan to make it a special for both of us?

BBQ. Steak. Corn. Slaw. Home cooked Cherry Pie

All present and accounted for, but without Gregory this year.

TEARS

• • •

The realization of the reality that he is dead
HURTS.
Knowing that I will never again hold him.
HURTS
Having to live the rest of my life without him
HURTS

TEARS

• • •

Today, headed north on Gross Point Road, past The Lieberman Center

And Skokie Hospital, as an ambulance  with siren screaming passes.

Memories  of a 7:30 AM call from Lieberman that Gregory has fallen

And split open his head, also a huge ugly bloody lump on his forehead

Grateful that with Lieberman's help all I had to do was comfort him.

Sad that with the Alzheimer's, that was all I could do to help him.

TEARS