As you know, my mother died in March 2010. The first year after the death of a loved one is always difficult being the first spring without, the first Christmas without, the first birthday without, etc.
Most of the time I can carry her memory with me, letting her disappear into the background as I go about my daily routine. Sometimes, for no specific reason, she comes to the front of my memory. I find that I am suddenly, strongly thinking about her and feeling sad. Missing her.
Yesterday when Mom "arrived," I decided that it was her way of saying, "Hello." And that should cheer me up, not make me sad. So I have resolved that when my mom is strong in my thoughts, that means she is with me, watching me, sharing with me the moment's joy. She is greeting me, acknowledging me, loving me. Saying HELLO to me. And is she is with me, how can I be sad?