Sunday, January 3, 2016


I hate being a Curmudgeon ... but apparently not. So here it goes. I know that I am not alone in the thoughts that will following. Let me slowly weave my argument before I get to the point.

I get e-mails and hear announcements on the radio and TV. Facebook is full of them. I guess they are necessary and for most people they are appropriate, but they grate on me and raise my hackles.

Don't forget Mom on Mother's Day!

Remember Dad on Father's Day.

Buy that special diamond ring that says love is forever for that special person on Valentine's Day.

Is today someone you love's birthday? Don't forget to tell them you love them with a Hallmark Card (or now an electronic dancing, singing message.)

You know the drill. I do not want to waste my time counting the number of times I get to hear this during any specific period of time.

Well here comes the Curmudgeon part, and I do not hold it against those of you who are not affected by this, but I know many who are!

My mother is dead. She died at the age of 91 on March 27, 2010. She died on my birthday which I actually consider a blessing. She began her next journey on the day she helped me begin mine.

My father is dead. He died at the age of 88 on March 25, 2005. We loved each other but were never close in what might be fantasized as an ideal father/son relationship. The older he got the more difficult and irrational he became, most likely due to old age dementia.

The person I love most in the world, my Gregory is dead. He died on October 4, 2015 due to Dementia/ Alzheimer's related causes. We lived with the diagnosis and his gradual decline for twelve years. The last two were lovingly supported at the Lieberman Center in Skokie and the last three days, as he prepared to leave us, I was at his side.

Many other family members, much loved and missed; many other friends have left this world; the approach of my seventy first year causes me to evaluate how I want to spend the time left to me before I begin my next adventure.

So while I do not really consider myself a Curmudgeon, it is difficult for me to hear all about gifts, and loved ones, and fathers, and mothers, and Valentine's Day and Christmas Presents, etc.

One does not buy gifts for one's memories but maybe that could be worked on. Maybe if the idea spreads, I will become a millionaire? 

Actually for Christmas, I did buy Gregory a box of his favorite cookies and some chocolates which I kept by his remains which live in his Grandma Carrie's sewing box and now that the holiday is over, I will proceed to eat them. 

Maybe my gifts are gifted more in the true spirit of love and remembering and not in the spirit of commercialism or impressing the receiver with how good the giver is. 

I do buy flowers for my mom and dad and for Gregory's as well which are placed next to their photographs and a lit candle for Mother's and Father's Day and on their birthdays. Often I remember other family members and friends on the anniversary of their passing. 

So maybe I am not really a Curmudgeon after all! Whew, I am relieved.

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