Saturday, July 11, 2020

Have You Ever?

Have you ever wanted to walk out the door of your home with just a few items in a duffle bag, lock the door, and never return ... at least for an indefinite, extended period of time?

We become so used to our lives, our routines, being with the people we care for, petting our dog or cat, owning the things we have. Then something like COVID 19 comes along and all of a sudden everything we know changes, the future is no longer what one hoped for, and the idea of impermanence becomes more of a reality than it ever has been. Maybe that accounts for my current feelings of wanderlust?

As we get older we get more secure in who we are, more comfortable with what we have, and dependent on those possessions; the more difficult it becomes to make big changes. We hold on for "dear life" to what we have for fear that if we let go, we may never be secure or comfortable again. Also, as we get older the feeling of time's running out gets stronger. If you are going to do something, better do it now!

I am grateful that financially I am comfortable and with my retirement pension, help from Gregory's life insurance, and with successful planning in my investments I do not have to worry about how I will pay for my life expenses.

I was thinking that it would be wonderful if I could pack a change or two of clothing, my medications, my cell phone with charger, and perhaps my iPad Pro. I would not have to let anyone know the details or whereabouts of my decision just that I was doing it, so they would not worry. I would have to make sure that my pets were cared for and that my bills would get paid. I would call my loved ones now and then to let them know how I was doing and that they should not worry about me.

With duffle bag in one hand and credit card in the other, I could take on the world. Fly to where I wanted to be, rent a room, eat out, buy whatever I might need when I might need it. For example, instead of having a medicine chest full of all kinds of remedies, if I had a cold I could go to the nearest pharmacy and buy a small box of Mucinex. If I wanted to read the next book, I could download it to my iPhone.

I could spend my days in my room away from home, thinking. Or I could go to a local museum, a library, a botanic garden, or take a hike to see natural wonders like a mountain or a waterfall. My iPhone would document what I saw and my iPad would tell my stories.

Moving on to the next site or adventure would be no problem. Whenever I felt like it, on a moment's notice to no one but myself, I would pack up the duffle bag, leave any surplus behind for whoever moved into the room after me, and after a train ride or an airplane flight, begin my next adventure.

Granted with COVID most of the above would not currently be possible but I can fantasize anyway. Will I be brave enough to embark on an unplanned, directionless adventure after COVID? Not sure. Then again I have also thought about buying or renting a "small house," deciding exactly how much would be enough to live in it and take that as my adventure in basic living.

The hope for these changes in me lies in how pared down my life currently is because of the pandemic. While I have so many luxuries around me, for which I am so grateful, my life certainly has changed in ways I never could have imagined, I continue to fill my days meaningfully, and I am happy and content.

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